Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Camp Buzz

So here is the rundown from day 1 at Camp Buzzie

5:30 AM wake up and realize it is not 7:00 yet

6:45 AM No sounds yet. Set alarm for 7:30 in case I fall back asleep and lil man sleeps in

7:15 AM Lil man comes in to "watch someting." Turn on Super Spy Backyardigins (running time 60 minutes. Perfect timing for leaving for school. Go into kitchen and make lunch for little man.

7:25 AM Goo not up yet so I jump in the shower

7:30 AM Hear alarm going off so jump out of shower, turn off alarm, and jump back in shower. Hear Goo as I'm getting back in.

7:33 Zap Goo's bottle in microwave and remember to add acidopholis (to prevent diarrhea from her ABX). Who needs Janet's list.

7:36- 7:46 Feed the goo.

7:46 -7:50 Dress Goo in white tshirt and pink mini skirt with a butterfly. Janet would be proud.

7:50 Dress lil man in pre-assigned clothing from mom

7:52 Forgot to give Goo her antibiotic. (look for Janet's list to see what else I've missed)

Put abx in syringe. Spills on white her white shirt. Damn. We hadn't even made it out of the house yet! Don't change the shirt because, well I'm the dad.

7:55 - 8:10 Contemplate my own attire for the day. "Should I wear a nice shirt to impress the teachers and fellow moms?" Pull out a white undershirt and golf shirt. Then realize I don't want to look like I was trying to dress up JUST to drop him off. "Would that make me seem snobbish?" Decide to wear a regular tshirt. "Now should I wear a hat?" No, that would make me look like a bum and I don't want to look like I don't have a job.

8:10 Realize I still have 30 minutes and not sure what to do with this much time. Watch snot run down Goo's face and use her shirt to wipe it because mine is still clean.

(okay not really...I use a wipe)

8:45 Arrive at school 10 minutes early. Watch several "experienced" Mom's break etiquite and pull in the wrong way of the established counter-clockwise drop off protocol. Give plenty of dirty looks and discouraging nods of disgust. Stop once I realize I'll be walking in the same church door they are in about 5 minutes.

8:47 Listen to High School Musical "Bet on It" for the fifth straight time.

9:15 Call Janet and ask if lil man really needs his special lions that he takes everyday to school during naptime that I forgot to pack. Janet says he'll probably be okay. Ask her why it wasn't already in his school bag? She asked if I checked the list before I left. Check the list after we hang up. DAMN! It was on there!

9:30 - 4:00 PM The rest of the day goes pretty well with two exceptions. I picked up lil man in the opposite car I dropped him off in and I cleaned up his room while he was gone.

LIL MAN RULE 1: Lil man does not like surprises
LIL MAN RULE 2: see lil man rule 1

We get home and I put goo down for a nap. I soon realize I've made it to 4:00 and can assume normal afternoon Dad routine.

Call both grandmothers and assure them I'll survive. I also remind them this is Day 1 and to check in on Friday or Saturday after I've run out of videos and snacks to bribe them with.

8:30 Lil man summons me to his room to tell me he can't sleep in a clean room and can I help make it dirty again.

8:40 Lil man calls down the hallway to tell me he can't find find Larry Boy.

8:42 Lil man whispers down the hallway that his room isn't dirty enough and he needs help.

8:44 Lil man opens door to tell me he wants another snack.

8:50 Lil man wants to call mommy to read him a story since I won't.

Cue the crying because Daddy is so mean...

9:00 Settle in bed with my Vanilla Coke to watch some Kid Nation. I wonder if they take 4 year olds on the show??


Marino said...

Way to go Buz!!! I am crying from laughing so hard....I love that Big H & his rules!!! I definitely think you need to guest blog more often...and you're doing a great job! Don't think I won't be referring Chris to this entry & trying to get a little vacation of my own going....


BooMama said...

But what I want to know is if you twirled some golf clubs with authori-TAY while "Bet On It" was playing. Because that would have rocked.

Alana said...

I have to say I'm pretty impressed. So far so good!

Anonymous said...

rock on! this is greatness and as we ALL know...a cinch! passing onto pete for the entertainment factor and some fatherly camaraderie.

Anonymous said...

Oh My Goodness!! All this time I thought Jant was the next Irma Bombeck, but move over Janet. I love you Honey and am so proud you didn't use Greta's shirt to clean her up. Janet & your mom are polishing our brass buttons now. Please keep this up while she is luxuriating with Kelly in some great spa. She will feel like she is missing all the fun in the world and come home early. Well, mayber not, but the rest of us will really have fun peeking in your window the next couple of days. Love you, Mom or Gramma Wiz to the bloggers.

wads and bob said...

Way, to go, Buz! No doubt the kids are in good hands...

big d said...

Buddy B!

A first time reader of this wonderful blog. I must say that I never had the opportunity to be an at-home mom. Ipromisedthat
whenever I ran of fun things to do(golf,arington Park, cutting the lawn,thinking about washing the old Studebaker Lark, watching Monday night football with howard cosell, dandy dan Meredith, etc., I would take over. never happened!

wish you well and have blocked out the entire morning tomorrow to log in the football 07. Love you, big D.