Sunday, August 26, 2012

on the eve of kindergarten, take 2

so.  i never blog anymore.  i own it.  sometimes i get really sad that it just doesn't happen anymore.  because i miss that a lot of our memories aren't captured through words or pictures.  but i just can't imagine sitting down at the computer as often i once did to document our lives.

(after reading that, i *am* really sad that i don't blog anymore.  but...too much work.  oh well.  stay on task, janet.)

y'all.  goo?  is starting kindergarten tomorrow morning.

{breathe in.  breathe out.}

there are so many things swirling around in my head right now.  like...HOW CAN THIS BE?

last year, goo attended a FABULOUS kindergarten at a private school in the area and had an amazing experience.  the year before was a tough one.  so i envisioned a tough one again.  but no.  she had a woman who loved her every day.  who prayed for and with her every day.  who taught her Scripture.  who taught her different ways to pray.  different things to pray for.  different people to pray for.  the importance of our service men and women.  the importance of our public service workers (firemen and women, police officers, paramedics, 911 responders, etc).  and the different names for God.  all while teaching her how to read, write, do math, experience worship, etc.  so.  needless to say, we love(d) her.

and so when the year was over, we were sad.  we had her awesome teacher (and her husband) over for dinner.  and it was wonderful.  and we've met her for ice cream this summer.  and goo has prayed for her on a regular basis.

and all summer, i worried.  i worried about my little missionary daughter.  who has become an amazing little woman with the most enormous heart.  i have been praying for her as the thought of her going to "the big house" enters my mind.  i have been praying almost daily for a little friend for her.  a boy or a girl.  a friend who makes good decisions as a 5- or 6-year-old.

fast forward to this past thursday night. kindergarten parent orientation night.  the night where we'd find out who goo's teacher was going to be.

and as the teachers spoke, my stomach turned upside down.  and buz left the room to take a call.  and while he was out, he texted.  "she got mrs. b."

i felt myself starting to cry.

bigH had mrs. b.  and she is the teacher we were SO HOPING goo would have.

and so when parent orientation was over, buz went home to relieve the sitter (nana), and i went to see if i could find mrs. b.  and i did.  and i hugged her.  and i may have cried.

tomorrow i will walk bigH AND goo to the same school.  and i will walk goo into the same classroom where bigH was.  and where bigH learned big life lessons.  and where he was loved on by mrs. b.  and goo gets to be loved on just as much, if not more.  surprisingly, i'm not nervous or scared.  but confident in where the Lord has our little family.  at our little school.

dear goo,

first of all, i could NOT love you more.  couldn't.  right now, it's sunday night.  on the eve of you heading off to kindergarten.  daddy and i just took you and bigH to your school in your jammies and prayed outside each of your classrooms.  and i got a lump in my throat when we were outside your classroom.  you had meet the teacher friday morning, and when we got in the car, you were teary.  i was so nervous.  when i asked you what was wrong, you said, "mom, everything i've dreamed about my whole life is finally coming true.  i finally have mrs. b.  and i finally get to go to school with bigH."  oh, how my heart swelled.  you are an amazing little girl.  you are our little missionary.  loving on others who sometimes don't get loved on as much.  i pray tonight that you would instantly find confidence within your heart to walk into that classroom with pride.  that you are awesome.  i pray for your time at lunch.  that you wouldn't sit by yourself.  i pray that the moment you first open your locker is as awesome as it has been in your head.  i pray that mrs. b secretly loves on you throughout the day.  that mrs. n (who you also know) will wink at you every so often tomorrow, just to let you know she's looking out for you.  i pray that recess is awesome.  i pray that you would find at least one friend.  a boy or a girl.  a friend who makes good decisions.  who is kind.  who isn't ugly to others.  i pray that other kiddos will see in you the beauty within that i do.  that daddy does.  that bigH does.  that your little sister does.  i pray that you would see bigH at least once during the day tomorrow, and that he would give you a look  and say something encouraging to you.  and maybe even hug you.  :) you are going to ROCK IT tomorrow.  i cannot wait to hear about your day.  and i cannot wait to see your face the moment you get to walk out that door at 245 tomorrow.  beware: i might be crying.

i love you with every ounce of my being and could not be prouder of you.

love, mom