evidence of motherhood

i remember it like it was yesterday.

buz and i were engaged. we were going to the church that we currently attend, but it was very far from buz's house and my apartment. for a while, we did it. we had breakfast together and then headed to church. it was really an entire day event. which was fine. i was madly in love with buz. i had NO PROBLEM with anything that was all day. if i was with my man.

but at some point, the drive got to be too much. we were really in need of something a little closer. so we began church shopping -- a process i do NOT care for. but we did. and every so often, it was fun. because i would look over at buz, all lovestruck, thinking about what it would be like to go to church together, arm in arm, with rings on our left hands.

but there was this one day. oh my. we got to this church. a fairly large Baptist church. we decided in our relationship bliss that we would check out the newlywed class. after all, we were going to be, you know, newlyweds.

everyone was so nice and cordial. we sat down, and the Sunday School class began. and it was nice. sweet, if you will. the class itself was good. don't remember what they talked about. until.

until they got to "announcement time" where they proceeded to talk about the upcoming social events. and when they started talking about the second event, the sunday school class leader said, "and just wait. there is going to be child care there."

and there was applause like none other.

i'm having to take a seat for a minute to catch my breath just retelling the story.

it made an impression on me, to say the least. and as buz and i drove away to go grab some leisurely we-don't-have-kids-so-we-can-linger-at-any-restaurant-that-doesn't-serve-chicken-nuggets lunch, we could NOT stop talking about how we were NOT ready for that class yet.

we really could NOT imagine our life like theirs.

fast forward seven years. where there is evidence of motherhood all. over. the. place.

this is what is currently in my living room.

yes. that IS a four-person tent. in our living room.

the other day, i told myself i had to go through my purse because it was just too heavy. it had to be cleaned out. (kelly is laughing. she thought the same thing when she was here.) and once i started going through it, i had to get out my camera.

oh my.

let's gaze upon the beauty of this handbag.

but oh no. what is all that stuff inside?

diaper. wipes. makes sense.

wallet. pocket bible. necessities.

best notebook ever created. thank you, dollar spot. thank you.

my change purse. and yes. this DOES have speed racer on it. and yes. it IS from mcdonalds.

beads. in the event goo needs that last minute accessory.

big lollipops from disney world that i want to give to big h and the goo for a special occasion. sometime soon. but of course, i can't unwrap them or they'll see them.

don't laugh. this is my "pen wallet." ok, go ahead. laugh. but as my friend jenna and i have agreed...one cannot have too many pens. you just never know.

big h's baseball trophy. these things are important to their little self-esteems, you know.

all of my emergency pinches. hair accessories. oil-absorbing sheets. i live in texas. paper clips. gloss. and yes. on the right. that's a mirror and comb. that says speed racer. from mcdonalds. clearly, i highly value my beauty regimen.

the electronic portion of my handbag. on the right you'll find my iPod nano. previous generation. works perfectly fine, thankyouverymuch. in the middle, you'll see my ultra cool doesn'tdoanythingbutcallandtext phone. but did i mention? it doesn't really hold a charge. so in the car, it's essentially a big black box phone. and on the left? a palm. i'm very proud of this. i know it's not an iPhone or a blackberry or some other kind of wireless PDA. but it works for me. so back off.

and of course, the european smart car and a mini magna doodle. we've found that the smart car is always a mood lifter. and goo? she loves her some magnetic coloring. anytime. anywhere.

and the reason my handbag was so heavy. case in point.

i took BOTH of my children to the movie yesterday. and we had popcorn and candy and drinks. and laughed. and MY sweet victory of the entire day was that goo wore a bow in her hair. not that i want her to wear bows everyday. but hair getting long in the summer in texas = need for something to keep your hair out of your face. and seeing as how she has NEVER let me put ANYTHING in her hair, i counted this a milestone. and wrote about it in her baby book.

you think i'm kidding.

big h and i had a conversation today about poop and tooting. "mama, pooping just makes my tummy and my bottom feel so much better. don't you think so? and when i toot, it just feels so good. don't you think so?"

to be honest, never really thought about it.

my plans for saturday evening? they're giving away free ice cream at a local ice cream shop if everyone in your family comes dressed in their jammies. don't think we're not doing it.

goo and big h both wore superhero jammies to bed tonight. and you know what? it was the best part of my day.

tonight i got some free time to myself. know what i did? went to old navy and spent my extra lunch money (don't laugh) on a cute on-sale sweater.

and what am i doing online awake when i should be asleep like everyone else in my family? looking at gap.com and babystyle.com trying to decide what new clothes my almost TWO-YEAR-OLD would look cute in seeing as how she's growing like a freaking weed.

and tomorrow? is donut friday. (like it has been every friday since 2005.) and i've been looking forward to it all week. we're off to eat sprinkles and then head to the library to check out new max and ruby books.

this is what i use my camera for.



my end-of-the-evening discussion with buz tonight was romantic because he told me what a great mom i was. what a great job i'm doing with my kids, raising them and loving them. yeah, he's hot.

and all of this? means more to me than eating at a fancy restaurant with buz. than going to concerts or whatever else people do without children. i didn't think i could ever imagine my life with kids. now, i can't imagine my life without them.