drawing a blank

i mean, for the life of me, i cannot think of anything to say these days. i have had access to the internet. my husband is in town. i am not sick. the goo is better. i've gone through my list of excuses. creativity is gone. gone. i wish i had a story. or a beginning of one that i could slightly embellish.

so, as sad as it is, here is a list of things on my mind right now -- as my spouse has drifted off to sleep, and it isn't even 10:00 yet.

• if i had an anger management counselor, i would have called him/her today. so as to not HARM my son. please don't leave here ready to call CPS. just one of those days. however, we have had a lot of those these days. (big sigh)
• big h is currently fascinated with flatulence. "mama, i just went tooted. it's because i have so much gas. toots make my bottom feel so much better. do they make your bottom feel better too?"
• big h sleeps with a life size doll at night right now. people, this thing is not to be reckoned with. to say it is big would be an understatement. a couple of weeks ago, he started acting scared at night when we would say good night. he would continually ask us if we would sleep with him. big h is one of those kids where if you start something, you better prepared for it to become set in stone. and i am not ready to start sleeping on a bottom bunk. so we always tell him that Jesus says "don't be afraid." but one night, he said, "but i can't lay on Jesus." couldn't argue with him there. so i asked if he would like to buy a big pillow. i thought it was a perfect idea. and i had a body pillow from when i was pregnant, who was named big bill, after a very random dream. don't ask. big h did NOT want big bill to sleep with him. so we went to look at big pillows, and he found "big diego." i know the website has the dimensions, but i promise you he almost doesn't fit in the bed. not to mention scaring me every morning after big h is already up and about, and i walk by his room and see this massive creature under the covers. in all honesty, it's pretty cute. he wants diego to be tucked in at night. he wants to pray for ah-nee, gree-ya, mommy, daddy, and big tee-ay-go. he's like a part of our family.
• would like to thank the manager of our local grocery store. after picking big h from school, we headed to the store to pick up bananas and bread and yellow cheese and do-der-munt for daddy "because his arms smell." when we were preparing to check out, i glanced out the window only to see the darkest clouds i have ever seen, and more rain than i could comprehend. oh. my. i asked the manager woman at the store if they had any umbrellas i could borrow. i know this is going to sound dorky, but i felt this weird peace about her. she was so sincere. and her suggestion was for me to run to my car that was parked in the 2nd parking space and back up to the fire lane to load my groceries and children. and she would stay with them right under the over hang. i know what you are thinking. "are you freaking NUTS?" probably. but i just felt good about the whole thing. the best was when i was getting big h out of the race car cart, he said, "bye linda. see you later. tanks for watching my mom get rained on." who knows -- linda may become one of our favorite new people. thanks, linda.
• what i'm listening to on the ipod: you light up my life by debby boone. (aren't you starting to figure out just how cool i really am?)
• my bff had her baby this weekend. georgia, the goo is ready to be insta-friends with you.

• this weekend, i am going on a hot date. not with buz. with a smaller version of buz. we're going to see thomas live at a local theater. theater, you ask? yes. and no, i have no idea what it's actually going to be. but it's thomas. pretty sure it will not disappoint. and don't mind me -- i will be the only girl going. we are going with the pattison boys. we went to the wiggles concert together too. no, it's not weird. i just YEARN for some solo big h time. i love the goo so much, but i have some MAJOR guilt issues these days about not getting to spend the time with big h that i want to.
• big h, the goo, and i didn't have anything to do yesterday. so big h and i played while the goo took her nap. when she woke up, i promised big h anything he wanted for lunch. without any hesitation, "chips and cheese, please, from the tortilla fackory." so we made a run for the border. any of you weight watcher folks out there? i'm pretty sure that if you eat at taco bell, you can't anything for the next 3 days. but wow, it was a little slice of heaven right here on earth. and apparently, everyone else in the metroplex had the same idea. because big h proceeded to say at the TOP of his lungs, "EVERYONE MUST LOVE CHIPS AND CHEESE AND CIMMONUN CRUNCHIES TOO, MAMA!!!! YOOK HOW MANY PEOPLE LOVE CHIPS AND CHEESE AND CIMMONUN CRUNCHIES, MAMA!!!"
• the goo fell today. and got herself a LOVELY goose egg. we went to her 9-month check up this morning and got to see dr. g. sidenote: we LOVE dr. g. he walked in today and immediately sat down and began telling us (you know...the goo and me) about how he's feeling better and that he's had the upper respiratory stuff going on. is it strange to want to invite your pediatrician and his family over for dinner? probably. i digress. anyway, this afternoon, i was in the middle of reading big h the riot act, when the goo just fell over and scraped her forehead on one of big h's elmo cars. kind of a big scratch. and a BIG noggin. i mean, the poor girl. she's been doomed lately.
• the goo and big h may get to see uncle bob on thursday. he has a layover here, and we are going to try to spend the whopping 3 hours with him. hey, 3 hours to us is more than nothing. i won't tell big h until i know it will happen. crushing a little boy's spirit is almost too much for me to handle.
• got an email from one of my roommates in college. jill...let it be known that your email made my whole day. and that's saying a LOT!

so, i have successfully taken up a LOT of your time. really sorry. sometimes it just feels good to get things "out." now, go on about your merry way. thanks for stopping by.