What I love about my wife

(written in Minneapolis airport terminal)

I love the smell of her hair when she takes a shower at night

I love that she has three pairs of red shoes

I love that her car is a complete mess and she denies it

I love when she makes a late night run to Sonic for a 44 oz.

I love that she has a jeep key chain

I love that she knows who she is

I love that she never reacts out of spite towards another

I love that she hates when I use her deodorant

I love that she forgives those who hurt her feelings

I love that she tears out pages and pages of her Real Simple

I love that she dresses our daughter in pink

I love that she doesn’t wear pink herself

I love that Henry challenges her to be a better Mom

I love that her bible has a matching carrying case

I love that she leaves her bracelets on her gear shift or on the kitchen counter

I love that she never wants to run out of gas

I love her little toe socks

I love her champagne taste

I love when she can’t make a decision about big purchases

I love that she still has BIC pens from college in baggies

I love that her signature pose is to smile with all of her teeth showing and her jaw shut

I love that her real smile is completely different

I love that she is a picker

I love that there are no short stories

I love that no question is ever answered with a yes or no

I love her secret moo moo

I love that she puts peanut butter on her pancakes

I love that I’ve never seen her drink a glass of milk

I love that has blog friends called big momma and boo momma

I love that I now need an emery board when I clip my own nails

I love that she only cleans the house when Sarah is coming over

I love that I have more than three pairs of shoes

I love that she is into Pepperidge farms logs

I love that there is no such thing as a quick errand

I love that she introduced me to Fernando and Third Day

I love that she understands my connection to Bebo

I love that somehow Nordstroms is the only shoe store that has her size

I love that she didn’t want to buy a white car

I love that she took Pat diet coke with lemon and white popcorn every day

I love that I can laugh with her every night

I love that she always calls somebody on both their cell and home phone

I love that she tells them she is going to do that

I love that she does Henry’s puzzles

I love that she helped me with the last 10 pieces of my puzzle

I love that she has never had poison ivy

I love that most of my bachelor possessions are gone

I love that we keep the house at 73 degrees all year

I love that she thinks puffy coats are “in” for anybody over 25

I love that she picks Planters sunflower seeds over Davids

I love that Buz has no origin or reference

I love that most of my gifts get returned for something cheaper

I love her rebel earring

I love that she can’t have a baby without becoming constipated

I love her yellow delivery robe

I love that she will smile when she reads PAT BOOKER

I love how quickly she can enter a voicemail box

I love that she types faster than me

I love that Goo is not Henry for her

I love when she crawls in bed after I’ve already fallen asleep

I love when that wakes me up

I love that she wore scarves

I love that she knows about Kuby’s

I love that she and Henry go and see if Stanley (the mailman) came

I love that our weekends never go the way I think they will

I love that I’ve never seen her drunk

I love that each of her friends would want her as a pall bearer

I love that all her recipes require lots of melted cheese

I love that somehow we’re never out of shredded cheese

I love that she vacuums the tile/laminate rather than sweep

I love that she will second guess a lot of these things that make her so unique

I love that she is my wife and my lover

I love that she knows the Lord

love, Buz

just a regular 'ol wednesday around here

we go to bible study at our church on wednesday mornings. fun is had by all every week. the goo gets fed, loved on, and put to sleep for some beauty rest.big h has been described as "a ham" in the chapel time of the morning. and his teachers talk lightning mcqueen (yighteen ah-keen) and mater mater with him, so they have been invited into his core inner circle. and mommy. well, she gets TWO uninterrupted hours with women. i sip on a beverage of my choice, enjoying a morning treat of my choice. and marvel at the intelligent adult interaction that is occurring around me.

not today.

buz and i had other plans for the day. or i should say God had different plans for us. because we definitely did NOT plan this one.

i woke from a deep sleep at 4:00 this morning. before i go any further, let the record state that i am ONE DEEP sleeper. buz used to get very frustrated with me when both big h and the goo were infants and i was nursing because he had to wake me when they started crying in the middle of the night. sign of a bad parent? i don't think so. i just value my sleep. i love. to. sleep. anyway, woke up needing to use the restroom with quite a bit of urgency. after galloping to the restroom, i came to the realization that i did NOT feel too well. note the understatement. buz woke up asking if i was ok. to play the martyr, "oh yeah, i am fine." and then i was doubled over. now, i am confident in my pain tolerance. buz gave me the nickname "hoss" (so ladylike) during our labor with big h because i labored without ever having an epidural. (weentrab, don't even start. i know, i know. you went natural. you are and will remain my hero.) anyway, to see me on my knees facing the porcelain throne at 4:30 a.m. was a big deal. buz made the executive decision to call his brother and his wife (who live all of 5 minutes away) to have one of them come over. buz felt like we needed to go to the ER. lucky for both of us, neither of us are afraid of hospitals. buz has always worked in a hospital, and i worked in one prior to having big h. so my sister-in-law got to our house within 10 minutes, literally. and we headed over to the local (in-network) ER. gowned up and got ready for my urine sample, catheterization, IV, and CT scan. nice. kidney stones, people. this is NOT enjoyable. i repeat. NOT fun at all. so after 2 hours and an encounter with a VERY WEIRD ER doc, we received my Rx and we were out the door with orders to go home to rest. any stay at home moms out there? go home and rest? is that a joke? yeah, maybe with a overpriced babysitter and a hotel room. but reality. nope. so buz took big h to run some errands, and i napped while the goo napped. and life is back to normal now. i am just armed with some potent pain meds if and when the need arises.

just a regular 'ol wednesday around here.

drawing a blank

i mean, for the life of me, i cannot think of anything to say these days. i have had access to the internet. my husband is in town. i am not sick. the goo is better. i've gone through my list of excuses. creativity is gone. gone. i wish i had a story. or a beginning of one that i could slightly embellish.

so, as sad as it is, here is a list of things on my mind right now -- as my spouse has drifted off to sleep, and it isn't even 10:00 yet.

• if i had an anger management counselor, i would have called him/her today. so as to not HARM my son. please don't leave here ready to call CPS. just one of those days. however, we have had a lot of those these days. (big sigh)
• big h is currently fascinated with flatulence. "mama, i just went tooted. it's because i have so much gas. toots make my bottom feel so much better. do they make your bottom feel better too?"
• big h sleeps with a life size doll at night right now. people, this thing is not to be reckoned with. to say it is big would be an understatement. a couple of weeks ago, he started acting scared at night when we would say good night. he would continually ask us if we would sleep with him. big h is one of those kids where if you start something, you better prepared for it to become set in stone. and i am not ready to start sleeping on a bottom bunk. so we always tell him that Jesus says "don't be afraid." but one night, he said, "but i can't lay on Jesus." couldn't argue with him there. so i asked if he would like to buy a big pillow. i thought it was a perfect idea. and i had a body pillow from when i was pregnant, who was named big bill, after a very random dream. don't ask. big h did NOT want big bill to sleep with him. so we went to look at big pillows, and he found "big diego." i know the website has the dimensions, but i promise you he almost doesn't fit in the bed. not to mention scaring me every morning after big h is already up and about, and i walk by his room and see this massive creature under the covers. in all honesty, it's pretty cute. he wants diego to be tucked in at night. he wants to pray for ah-nee, gree-ya, mommy, daddy, and big tee-ay-go. he's like a part of our family.
• would like to thank the manager of our local grocery store. after picking big h from school, we headed to the store to pick up bananas and bread and yellow cheese and do-der-munt for daddy "because his arms smell." when we were preparing to check out, i glanced out the window only to see the darkest clouds i have ever seen, and more rain than i could comprehend. oh. my. i asked the manager woman at the store if they had any umbrellas i could borrow. i know this is going to sound dorky, but i felt this weird peace about her. she was so sincere. and her suggestion was for me to run to my car that was parked in the 2nd parking space and back up to the fire lane to load my groceries and children. and she would stay with them right under the over hang. i know what you are thinking. "are you freaking NUTS?" probably. but i just felt good about the whole thing. the best was when i was getting big h out of the race car cart, he said, "bye linda. see you later. tanks for watching my mom get rained on." who knows -- linda may become one of our favorite new people. thanks, linda.
• what i'm listening to on the ipod: you light up my life by debby boone. (aren't you starting to figure out just how cool i really am?)
• my bff had her baby this weekend. georgia, the goo is ready to be insta-friends with you.

• this weekend, i am going on a hot date. not with buz. with a smaller version of buz. we're going to see thomas live at a local theater. theater, you ask? yes. and no, i have no idea what it's actually going to be. but it's thomas. pretty sure it will not disappoint. and don't mind me -- i will be the only girl going. we are going with the pattison boys. we went to the wiggles concert together too. no, it's not weird. i just YEARN for some solo big h time. i love the goo so much, but i have some MAJOR guilt issues these days about not getting to spend the time with big h that i want to.
• big h, the goo, and i didn't have anything to do yesterday. so big h and i played while the goo took her nap. when she woke up, i promised big h anything he wanted for lunch. without any hesitation, "chips and cheese, please, from the tortilla fackory." so we made a run for the border. any of you weight watcher folks out there? i'm pretty sure that if you eat at taco bell, you can't anything for the next 3 days. but wow, it was a little slice of heaven right here on earth. and apparently, everyone else in the metroplex had the same idea. because big h proceeded to say at the TOP of his lungs, "EVERYONE MUST LOVE CHIPS AND CHEESE AND CIMMONUN CRUNCHIES TOO, MAMA!!!! YOOK HOW MANY PEOPLE LOVE CHIPS AND CHEESE AND CIMMONUN CRUNCHIES, MAMA!!!"
• the goo fell today. and got herself a LOVELY goose egg. we went to her 9-month check up this morning and got to see dr. g. sidenote: we LOVE dr. g. he walked in today and immediately sat down and began telling us (you know...the goo and me) about how he's feeling better and that he's had the upper respiratory stuff going on. is it strange to want to invite your pediatrician and his family over for dinner? probably. i digress. anyway, this afternoon, i was in the middle of reading big h the riot act, when the goo just fell over and scraped her forehead on one of big h's elmo cars. kind of a big scratch. and a BIG noggin. i mean, the poor girl. she's been doomed lately.
• the goo and big h may get to see uncle bob on thursday. he has a layover here, and we are going to try to spend the whopping 3 hours with him. hey, 3 hours to us is more than nothing. i won't tell big h until i know it will happen. crushing a little boy's spirit is almost too much for me to handle.
• got an email from one of my roommates in college. jill...let it be known that your email made my whole day. and that's saying a LOT!

so, i have successfully taken up a LOT of your time. really sorry. sometimes it just feels good to get things "out." now, go on about your merry way. thanks for stopping by.

two words

praise. Jesus.

buz called this evening on his way home and asked me what i was doing. to which i replied, "taking pictures of the goo."

"doing what?"

"smiling."

let me state for the record how much i love that she has enough hair to have bed head.

my baby is back.

she has had THREE bottles of formula. pedialyte-diluted lactose-free formula. but "milk" nonetheless. she took a FOUR HOUR NAP. big h took a 2 1/2 hour nap. guess what mom did?

napped with him. i couldn't pass up the opportunity. i just couldn't. so while my baby rested from her tough 5 days and began the recuperation process in nighty-night land, i snuggled with the boy who doesn't want me within 10 feet most days lately. bliss.

tomorrow is a new day. and because the goo is finally on the road to recovery, i believe i am going to shower. and finally shed my ski breckenridge hand-me-down t-shirt from my brother circa 1989 and my brown yoga pants. and clean this nasty head of hair.

tomorrow is a new day.

and franklin...for your viewing pleasure. the monstrosity that has become our living room. (yes, big h is wearing his lovely and HOT elmo costume. never ceases to amaze me.)

2 comments. what magazine is my son posing for? and why on God's green earth does it look like he's wearing a shade of mauve on those lips?

well, i'm not to going to post anymore until the goo is well. we are so sad for her. i took big h to get sicken nuggets today (again). on the way there, i said, "you know what, big h? i am really sad for the goo. she is still so sick, huh?"

"yeah, we need to pray por her."

and so we did. i love that kid. he had some meltdowns today. but honestly, i have had some meltdowns in the past couple of days too, so i cut him a little slack.

somehow dad had enough steam to blow up the spider man bed. pictures to come at a later date. fun was had by big h.

today was, by far, the goo's worst day. she threw up this morning, and buz and i had had it. so i took her in on saturday hours (8-12) to see dr. g, who just happened to be on this morning. halle-loo-yuh!!!!!

no fever. still just feels like it's a virus that is taking its sweet, precious time. she has been miserable all day. honestly, buz and i felt like we were just wasting time until either the next teaspoon of pedialyte or her next nap. and her naps were awful because she just couldn't ever get comfortable. we literally didn't find a THING that made her happy or content. until right before bath time, and the God above bestowed His love upon me in a sweet, sweet moment. buz and big h had run an errand, and i had all of the goo's clothes off, ready to put her in the bath. all of the sudden, she buried her head into the pocket of my armpit and was just quiet. her first time all day to be truly quiet. and she rested there for about 5 minutes. and i just cried and cried. i love this kid so much it hurt today.

so, you can see why i'm not going to post again until she is well. or better. because you will hold it against me that your kleenex box is empty.

pray for my sweet goo.

must. get. better.

first of all, bff, let the record state that i am the world's best friend for cancelling on you today. trust me -- you do NOT want what the goo has.

and biscuit, same goes for you.

again...nothing interesting or entertaining. just informing those who have been praying for my sweet baby. as well as blowing off some "couped up in a house for 2 days" steam.

the goo. she is still not well. i do have to be honest, i don't know which call back nurse to listen to. no offense to those nurses out there. i've gotten everything from "don't give her any formula for at least 2 days" to "go ahead and give her a little food if she's tolerating so much pedialyte" to "try just a little formula if she's tolerating enough pedialyte in a bottle" to "don't do anything for 16 days." (ok, that last one was made up by me and certainly NOT true.)

she's only thrown up once today. but has taken 2 INSANELY LONG naps. you may be thinking i should be so grateful. not when fun goo doesn't have her A-game on. it is so pitiful. she has no energy. she didn't even want to be in her "walking seat." (that's what big h calls her exersaucer.) she also had diar----several times as well.

let's just say that the washer and dryer are going to sleep well tonight. they have had a long day.
and my little man. seriously. he has been a little MAN today. so incredibly helpful, i cannot even begin to describe. finally, after the goo's LONG morning nap, i/we HAD to get out. so we drove through wendy's for sickin nuggets and brown no-nee. and as a surprise to him, i dropped by blockbuster to get him a movie or six. ok, really just two. you wouldn't believe how much television my 3 1/2-year-old watched today. and yet, it was totally mom-initiated. and i had no reservations about it whatsoever.

we decided to make it like a daytime sleepover. we opened up the spiderman blow up bed (which did not get used because it was going to take about 116 hours to blow up, even with the handy pump). we did puzzles. lots and lots of puzzles. we played a LOT with things that have wheels. we made up stories. we had snacks. we listened to music. it was so much fun.

i just wish the goo was in on it.

if only i looked this good while sick and with no clothes on. (this was taken yesterday. i couldn't bear to take any today. she was so sad ALL DAY.)


and i refuse to end on such a bad note, i will leave you with some easter pictures.



you probably can't see that my husband -- ultra conservative dresser that he is -- has on seersucker pants.




of course, we had to bring our props outside.








couldn't get enough of the fact that my kid who has very bazaar issues with clothes and shoes has on a BELT. a plaid one, nonetheless.



going through the loot.



see...this is what she looks like happy.




our sad attempt at a family easter picture. the tripod can't make the goo look in its direction. such is life. (and to my mom: no, i did NOT wear jeans to church on easter sunday.)

been a while, huh?

this is more for the grandparents. this is probably one post you can skip through because there is nothing funny or slightly entertaining. just the hard facts, people.

(big sigh)

this will only take a second.

the goo. well, she's just still not herself. last wednesday, she had two ear infections. last night, she threw up. now, i realize that people who read this little piece of the internet are not all mommies, so i will refrain from going into full detail. oh, but i SO want to.

she threw up 4 times around six last night and was just about as pitiful as they come. we had to put her down last night without anything. no bottle. just a teaspoon of pedialyte. wouldn't surprise me if she was thinking, "yeah, um, just knock me out. i can't handle this no warm beverage at night thing." it was so incredibly sad. and somehow i was the one who got the honor? never sure how that works. but in buz's defense, i was done in a matter of minutes, and he had a LONG way to go before he got to relax.

anyhoo. after talking to the on-call nurse several times, we came to the conclusion that we could give her milk after at least 8 hours of no vomiting. she seemed to think that the goo would sleep pretty well. and she was right. woke up at 6. fed her about 4 ounces of a bottle. then, she was doing ok, so i gave her a tsp of pedialyte. and after receiving my medical degree from Internet U, i declared it ok to give her ONE cheerio. this was NOT my finest act of motherhood. definitely would've had my license revoked.

rats! i had to start the whole thing over again. the one tsp of pedialyte every 5-10 minutes. for those of you who have experienced this, it makes for THE LONGEST day. and she never really got satisfied. we went on a walk, and she slept. she took three naps. poor goo. finally around 4:30, the nurse had called back to tell me that it would be ok to give her some pedialyte in a bottle. 2 ounces or so. we did. she loved it. she also said we could give her a little formula. she did NOT, however, love that so much.

idiot.

so again...back to square one. big h proceeded to tell every living soul at school that "baby greeya was not feeling well and she kept pitting up all of her orange carrots." and i was nervous about sharing too much information.

she is asleep. we were told not to give her any more milk products until at LEAST tomorrow night. :( so it's pedialyte for now.

poor goo.

oh, and it's sad enough that i can't think of a single funny big h story, other than him being adamant about me "not eating my toes, mama. toes are NOT! FOR! EATING!"

taken hostage

by the potty training demons, that is.

i really and truly thought i would be writing a beautifully uplifting story about how my child LOVES underwear and wants to embrace his new manhood by saying, "out with the old and in with the new."

or not.

people have failed to mention the potty training devil that is unleashed.

seriously. what happened to my big h?

tuesday was a good afternoon. but wednesday. heaven help us. headed to church for a little bible study. left church wanting to swear. the irony is too much. he had an "accident" in the nursery. funny because big h doesn't really get what the whole "accident" word means yet. he pooped in his go diego go underwear, and one of the church nursery rules is that they don't change poopy underwear accidents. don't blame 'em. so for the first time in three and a half years, i was paged to the nursery. i thought that he would have a hard time with me in his class in the middle of the class. nope. "hey mommy, i went poo poo in my pants." done. back to bible study. get big h and head to the infant class, where the teachers inform that the goo is "just not herself today." funny, i had been thinking the same thing for 2 or 3 days. made an appt for that same afternoon.

oh right. back to potty training. get home from bible study to have a 30-minute lunch. get back in the car and head to dr. g's. get back to the exam room before having the goo weighed and sniff, sniff. please, please let that be the goo. nope again. "big h, did you go poo poo in your pants?" "yes."

so the goo gets put back in her stroller so that i can survey the scene. oh people. without going into detail (which i desperately want to do to accurately describe my selfless act of motherhood, but i won't), poop was literally everywhere. so after using an entire box of wipes, which i randomly had in my diaper bag, dr. g walks in only to find the goo with not one, but TWO ear infections. guess that's why she hasn't been herself lately. homegirl is such a trooper.

we headed home, and the whining began. oh. the whining. i found myself wanting to say things to him that i never would have thought i would want to say. but rest assured, i didn't.

but believe you me, by the time buz got home, i had my bags packed, and i handed both kids over to him and grabbed my keys. i couldn't take it anymore.

took him to school yesterday morning in some nemo underwear. his choice. poop accident at school. if he has one more poop accident in his underwear he will have to wear diapers to school until the end of the year. no pressure.

i just thought i was against pull ups.

yesterday was actually worse than wednesday. even buz was frustrated. that is big.

so we decided to put both of them down early by about an hour. or six.

today, i said, is going to be a new day. we get to the mall to play with bff and wes. and i was secretly crossing my fingers and having constant conversation with God to please, please keep the potty training demons away this morning.

sometimes God answers our prayers in ways we don't understand. this morning was one of those times.

oh poor bff. she was giving me that "i am so sad for you but SOOOOOOOO thankful it's your kid and not mine" look. i lost count of the times she asked "what can i do for you?" i wanted to tell her in all seriousness, "just find a stick." but i thought that might be inappropriate. i just let big h know that there would be conversation in the car and it wouldn't be fun conversation. there would probably also be conversation at home, at dinner, at bathtime, at bedtime, at storytime, and at talk to jesus time. definitely at talk to jesus time.

little man and the goo both did great at the good friday service this afternoon. and i was so moved by our service that for that hour, i was able to focus on what i wanted to set my mind on today.

so all is *better* around here. we have a new approach. a more laid back approach. a don't stress out big h approach. a we'll be fine if you get your learner's permit in your pampers approach. whatever floats your boat, big man.

just a few pictures to share.

imagine the crash after this.

i've told of big h's interest in dressing up. work it, big h. own it.

this is his idea of "parking the cars" at night. (they are hanging in his bed rail.)

i'm thinking he needs just one more toy.

sweet goo, preparing for spring.

an easter miracle for winter janet. high for tomorrow: 43. easter high: 52.

we shall see

so tonight we began a journey of sorts. or so we've heard.

we started this journey some time ago, but it lost its lustre. so we're at it again. in full force.

pray for us.

potty training with a vengeance.

i had a talk with my brother and sister-in-law last night. just to get some encouragement. and my brother's comment was, "dude, your kid's three and a half and he's still in a diaper?" ahhh...nothing like a little sibling love. my sweet sister-in-law proceeded to apologize on his behalf and offer more helpful suggestions and potential solutions. but that comment haunted me the rest of the night. buz and i talked about it and decided we would start on friday. good friday. fitting, right?

however, we headed to wal-mart for some milk and "gree-ya no-nee" (translation: formula). i told him repeatedly that we were not going to buy anything. sad when you have to reiterate that comment so many times. he asked if we could look at trains. "sure. but we are NOT going to buy any trains." he is not into games, but he found the game aisle appealing today. chutes and ladders, which we have but he doesn't understand how to play yet. hungry hungry hippos, but really he just liked the name of that. i was trying to explain all the things you learn by playing these certain games. "that game teaches how to count to 10. that game teaches us how to spell with our letters from a to z." (i know. i'm a barrel of monkeys. everyone wants to play with me.) we were so interested in what these games would teach us. until...

we saw a go diego go "game." mind you, this "game" was packaged in a "rescue pack." (if you do not have a toddler who has ever watched noggin, you can go to someone else's blog or some other website because none of this will be of interest to you.) basically, it is an orange glorified backpack that contained about 10 different games. card games, bingo, dominoes, etc. i will be honest, if i thought he would really be interested in the games, i would be thrilled about this pack. however, the guy really only cares about the fact that he can wear it and look like diego and save the pygmy marmosets and red eyed tree frogs. after i said no several times, he started to be really, really sad and said to me, "but mama, this game will teach me lots of things." genius. pure genius.

i was kind of frustrated. but even more so, i wanted to get the goo home for a nap. she was starting to fade on me. so out of my mouth comes, "that's fine. you can get that game. but we go home and put on underwear. and other than nighttime, we aren't going to wear diapers anymore, ok?" he said ok, and i thought to myself, "what the heck did i just do? i LIKE my kid wearing diapers. it's easy." but i had said it. and there was nothing i could do about it.

so we talked on the way home about why he got the rescue pack. i wanted him to make sure he knew that this was big. HUGE.

so we got home and put the potty in the living room. for convenience. and we had bought diego underwear. i know this will be fleeting, but i'm not sure there is anything cuter than the tush of big h in big boy underwear. i LOVE it. so he went. he had one accident. and he told buz about it. it was right before bath time, and he had just finished his breathing treatment. and dad forgot to ask before he started the treatment. so technically, i think i can say that he did a great job today. poor church workers tomorrow. poor preschool teachers on thursday. we'll see. he may just surprise the heck out of us.

but there's no turning back. underwear is here to stay.