light at the end

there's a reason this blog has been dry lately.

this girl?

she's two.

oh. my. word is she two.

and you know what? there's a reason i didn't blog when big h was two. because i was a peach to be around. and so was he.

or not.

and lately? i'm surprised i still have friends, really. because whew. the grey hairs are popping up all over the place. because of her.

and in case you didn't know. it's still summer. and will be for a long time. which just might have something to do with my sour, pitiful mood.

but college football starts soon. there's some hope.

but here is what has been going on around here.

everyone i know has a kid going to kindergarten. seriously. everyone i know. or so it seems. (don't you agree?)

big h is starts his last year of preschool next thursday. five days a week. big kid. it won't hit me until the second day in a row.

(for the record, this is a picture of big h's FIRST popsicle. ever. i know. he's a different one, that big h.)

but the day he starts? is the same day goo starts.

heaven help those teachers.

she's only going once a week. and those other four days? i'm thinking she may not like leaving the building without big h. just a hunch.

yesterday was interesting. we're noticing new things about goo left and right. first of all, her vocabulary is CRAZY. we NEVER had this with big h -- the "normal" development in the area of speech. i know. you can't believe it. but she is repeating things all the time. and it has been so fun to watch her do so. and most of the things she repeats are things that big h says. so we've been talking to him so much lately about setting a good example for her. and he takes this job VERY seriously.

oh, the things he says to her. hilarious. like, when he said the other day, "sweetheart. i'm sorry, but that is not ok for you because it is dangerous. i'm so sorry but i want you to make a good choice, goo. ok? show me how you can make a good choice."

i was dying.

anyway...yesterday. we walked to the local mcdonalds. it's close enough. i thought it would be nice to walk. hot outside, but we could get there, eat lunch, and play at the play area. all was well. didn't have the double stroller. just the single and the backpack. goo would have NO PART of the backpack. but big h would. so i walked for a while with him on it until i could go NO MORE. on the way home, goo fell asleep in the stroller.

(i'd like to add that it wasn't just hot. it was blistering hot with one kid telling me how hot it was. and i felt like i hadn't showered in two weeks. it was hot. don't let my one mention steer you from the hard facts. it was really hot. not sure why i decided to walk to freaking mcdonalds.)

so i did the lift and lay. she cried for a minute but then was quiet. i thought i had succeeded. so big h and i snuggled on my bed and fell asleep together. bliss.

apparently, goo was NOT asleep. when i walked in, i noticed there was a shadow on the wall by her crib.

and so.

i said to myself. "please, Lord, let it NOT be poop. let it not be poop."

i turned the light on. and oh my word. both walls (her crib's in the corner) were/still are COVERED in red crayon. nice. no amount of magic eraser will get that stuff off. (pictures to come later. camera is in her room.)

and so... i think we will repaint.

new year. new room.

my birthday? was ok. i played with a friend and her children instead of going to the play care. great friend. still should've gone to the play care for an hour or two. did go on a date with buz. who continues to be as dreamy as ever. had dinner and then just walked around a couple of stores. perfect.

and you know what buz got me for my birthday? this. freaking awesome.

and the best part of my day today? watching buz do the hula and kick some tail at it.

hope all of you with sweet little ones in kindergarten are surviving emotionally. know that i'm thinking about you.

can't stay long

i have tv watch and covers to be under.

but here's the deal.

someone. anyone. give me feedback on when you go to the grocery store.

because i've decided that when buz and i win the lottery or get rich, the FIRST thing i'm going to do is hire someone to go to the grocery store to buy groceries.

because OH. MY. GOODNESS.

whipping.

beating.

i menu plan far in advance. usually, i go once every two weeks. i buy food for two weeks of meals. but sometimes i have to go back to the farmers' market to get more produce.

but i decided i might try going once a week. just getting one week's worth of food including my weekly trip to the market.

so i went tonight. sunday night.

when the store apparently gets restocked.

(read: they are out of everything. like garlic. and milk.)

oh, and this grocery store? remodeling. i'm pulling my hair out as i type this.

and one main line of lights was about to burn out. which meant flickering. lots and lots and flickering.

and lately big h has wanted to go grocery shopping with me. at night. once goo is asleep. it's actually kind of fun.

but last time he said, "mama, this grocery work is so tiring. can you drop me off at home?"

i second that, kid.

so again...when do you do the grocery shopping? and if you say with your kids, well, then your answer doesn't count.

i've gotta head to bed.

ok, so i apologize

to all you facebookers.

because you? have wished me happy birthday. you, who on any given day would have no clue when my birthday was. but with your friendly little facebook reminder and all. you're so on the ball.

thank you.

so let's get it out there.

i am thirty-three.

i know.

seriously.

thirty-three.

today? my dad did what he has done for years. he called to wish me a happy birthday eve. i don't know if i started this tradition or if he did. but it's our little thing. it's quirky. but still. our little thing.

tonight? buz came home and fixed mac 'n' cheese for big h and the goo. and i went on a date with my mom. to dinner. where we got free queso.

she bought me cinnamon bears.

and some flip flops.

and gave me some cold hard CASH.

really, she's a woman after my own heart.

and she's the woman that tells a certain birth story every year on august 20. the one we've all heard and can recite word for word.

(and the same kind of story i will tell every year on my children's birthdays.)

and tomorrow? i'm thinking of living large and taking my kids to a drop-in playcare center for a couple of hours. and then heading off into the sunset.

to either read a book or take a nap.

it doesn't get much edgier or more hip and urban than that.

and then tomorrow night, my freaking awesome babysitter is coming to kick it with the little people. (i.e. feed them, clean them, and put them to bed)

and buz and i are probably going to sit somewhere and look at each other and remember how much we love each other.

and i might wear one of my token two "out" outfits. you know the ones. the ones you see in the store and say, "oh, that would be so cute to wear one night when i go out." mine will most likely include my white jeans (which i most certainly would NEVER wear around goo and her current pen/pencil/marker/crayon fetish) and some "top." notice i said "top." not t-shirt. tops are what you wear when you "go out." or at least that's what the young kids say. and that top might be paired with something other than my red new balance running shoes or flip flops. and perhaps even jewelry.

i know what you're saying to yourself. "whoa. slow down, sister."

and we might get something to eat.

and it's supposed to rain. all day. and be in the eighties. not 107.

let's give Him praise! Amen!

oh, i kid about all of this. but you know what? my life couldn't be richer and i couldn't be more thankful.

there is nothing i would rather do on my birthday than wake up with my 4-year-old's iceberg toes on my legs and a "good morning, mama. i just came in to snuggle."



or head into goo's room to get her out of her crib and hear her say, "hi mama! muh. button off." (muh is the name for pink blankie and the button is on her aquarium.)

and to hold hands with my very, very best friend and gaze into his unbelievably attractive bearded face and count our blessings together.

oh. and you thought goo was sassy?

check this girl out. this girl who knew white sunglasses were in. and so were red handbags.

work it, janet. work it.

um, yeah, my babysitter?

is freaking BREATH. TAKING.

oh. my. word.

seriously.

oh. my. word.

so i've spoken of my super rock star babysitter perhaps once or twice? and if not more than thirty-six times, well then shame on me.

she has this ease with my children. big h is always like, "oh hey J, what's up? don't mind me. i'm just watching a little max and ruby. oh this shirt? this old thing? i just happened to throw it on (when i heard you were coming over)."

and goo? well. you know goo by now. she's indifferent to pretty much everything. so she throws out the peace sign to her j-dog and gets back to coloring on the front door or fireplace or television or herself. with sharpies.

and just in case you're wondering...no. you most certainly CAN NOT have her phone number. she's ours. and we're possessive.

but today? i had possibly the coolest opportunity ever. she is a senior this year.

(cue the sound of me crying)

and i got to take her senior portraits.

(and i should say. senior portraits have changed drastically since i was a senior. in my laura ashley floral sundress. and matching headband or bow. and navy heels. also with bows.)

and besides being cute, witty, smart, disciplined (she runs cross country every morning at 6am), cool (with all her texting and whatnot), loving, gentle, etc., etc., she is extraordinarily beautiful.

oh, you want proof, do you?

well, see for yourself.

told ya.

shameless plug. seems that 5 minutes for mom is having a bit of a contest. a summer photo contest. and so...

here are the two i am sending. i know, i know. you've seen them before. but maybe they haven't.

sweet buz

so i've clearly documented my undying love for my husband here once or twice or eighty-two times.

but tonight? well God love him. he just couldn't be any cuter.

he's at game stop. in line for his 'voucher' to be able to purchase madden 2009 at midnight.

have i mentioned that my husband is the early to bed, early to rise guy in our house?

yeah, well, i'm not sure if i can remember the last time (other than the occasional new year's eve) that he has stayed up past 10.

and his man crush? traitor. seriously. we both have crushes on brett. and now he's in freaking new york city? playing for the jets? seriously? you sold out, dude. you're supposed to be inducted into the hall of fame leaving the team that helped you achieve your greatness. the packers, man.

to say we're disappointed is a bit of an understatement.

another understatement? to say that apparently we have nothing else going on.

buz is taking our camera to try to capture some of his evening. i am so proud of him.

sad that i will still be awake when he returns.

i would really love to post about my trip back to my hometown in full detail. but really? wasn't about me so much. er...at all, really.

was about casey.

and her new baby.

and the fact that she delivered a baby right in front of my very eyes. and was a complete and total 100% HOSS. seriously. four pushes. and no vocal noises.

i know.

it's beyond me, really. me in all my c-section glory.

here's her story. from my point of view. and don't be prepared for anything eloquent. i canNOT do this event any amount of justice.

(i promise i won't go into detail. honestly, because i'm ready to go nighty night.)

she and martin had to be at the hospital at 6am. and because of hotel circumstances that occurred during the night, i was able to rise earlier than i had planned. (read: still picking the crusties out of the corners of my eyes.)

so i got ready and headed out of the door at the glorious hour of 4:54am. those of you who know me are shaking your head in true disbelief. kelly, i really was in the car at that hour.

and the whole time i just kept thinking about sweet casey and martin and the fact that they were about to welcome a new little peanut into their world. i was beyond ecstatic for them.

(not to mention casey ready to have "normal non-swelling, non-pregnant feet" again.)

so i got to the hospital at five o'clock with my journal. writing down thoughts and prayers i had for them.

heavenly father, i can only pray the very best for this day. that martin and casey would connect in a way only you could provide. that sweet baby would make his entrance in a safe way. that he would be healthy. that the staff would be kind to my friends and make them feel like this was their first baby.

and all the while, it was a brisk eighty-two degrees outside. at five o'clock in the freaking morning. granted, i doubt that's what they were thinking about. but geez.

and so they arrived. and began filling out paperwork. and more paperwork. and OH MY, MORE PAPERWORK.

and then things got started. IV started. blood drawn.

contractions started.

like before the epidural.

my friend casey? she likes herself some narcotics.

see? she was back in business. ahhh...much better.

things were going along fairly smoothly. and then that pesky blood pressure of hers decided to drop. or plummet, if you will.

things looked a little more grim than before.

but with a little oxygen, life got better again. though, we couldn't understand a word she said with that mask. (shhh...don't tell her, but we pretended like we could understand by just nodding our heads.)

and then all of the sudden, seems she was fully dilated and ready to meet little mr.

oh my word. this girl? uh-may-ZING. she pushed FOUR TIMES. (she says five. i say four. what does she know?)

and then? this little beauty began crying. that beautiful newborn cry. that made me do that adult female ugly cry.

meet samuel edwards. arrived at 1210pm on friday, august 1, 2008. (even though the room's STUPID clock read 1216pm. darn that clock.)

her SMALLEST baby weighing in at 8#6 and 19 1/2 inches long. smallest baby. head of hair.

mom and dad were elated.

daddy could NOT stop touching this little guy's hand. just couldn't. and why not?

and mama? head over heels in love.

and me? so honored to even call casey and martin friends. so glad to meet samuel. and so privileged to be a part of this miracle called life. praise Jesus for a wonderful day.

love you, guys. thanks for letting me share in your joy.