andrew and his mom and dad

so...big h's namesakes?

they're having a baby GIRL in august. and us wisners are OVER THE MOON excited about her arrival.

so we played together a couple of weeks ago and had the best time, hopefully capturing life as a family of three.

andrew is into rodeos and bronco bucking. wait. let me rephrase. andrew is WAY INTO rodeos and bronco bucking. so we managed to snag a few in all of his official gear while we were at it. SO MUCH FUN.

love you guys and absolutely CANNOT wait until august.

hi, my name is janet...

...and this is my blog. apparently.

i have to be honest. i don't want to blog lately. i don't really want to update FB. i don't really want to update my twitter. even though, i laugh at that statement in the first place.

but i'm keeping up with most of you. not that i'm commenting on your blogs either.

blasé.

this is probably going to be a decent-sized post. with plenty of random thoughts going through my head. so feel free to head on over to some fabulous other sites.

today? big h's last day of preschool. and my emotional state was rocky. i mean, goo is going back to the same school next year. but when i hugged her teachers today? boo hoo'd like a baby. and held on to them. and just cried. like i wouldn't see them three months from now. hugged big h's teachers tightly. and then, watched each and every one of his friends exit the building.

i really was anxious about this morning. remember that "almost cry" that happens a lot at church? it was ever present all morning this morning. before we even left the house. today was donut friday, and so, of course, we headed to dunkin donuts. then, we got to school, and the almost cry began as we pulled into the parking lot.

in my hands, i had:
my camera
big h's rest mat
goo's rest mat
goo's vinyl mat
goo's bag
1 bag for each teacher + 2 teachers/kid = 4 bags
1 book for each teacher made from photographs of each student

once we got in, i dropped off both mats for goo in the bin and let her run to her teachers. who were already misty-eyed. SO did not help my case. dropped off the books for goo's teachers. at this point, big h had already headed into his class. i gave goo's teachers their gifts. headed to big h's class and gave his teachers their gifts. went to the car to get the music and movement teachers their gifts.

i had done well up to this point. i give the music teacher (whom i ADORE and so do my children) her gift, and she hugs me and has tears in her eyes.

rats.

i had to leave in a hurry because the ugly cry was coming quickly.

so i head out to my car. i pulled over in the parking lot and started crying. when one of my friends pulls up beside me asking if everything's ok. i couldn't hold it in. bless her heart. she had no idea what a loaded question that was. we talked for a minute. then, i headed to sonic and got a dr. pepper. because i can't think of anything better than a dr. pepper at 925 in the morning. i headed to old navy to get big h and goo swimsuits. honestly, i just walked around and looked at everything. just strolling. they didn't have goo's size in a swimsuit, so i decided to head over to the old navy across town. then, i sat in the parking lot and talked to my mom on the phone for a minute. then, i ate lunch by myself at a great deli. and cleaned out my purse. and it was only 1130. and i don't pick up my kiddos until 2. seriously? never in the course of the 08-09 school year have i ever been bored while my kids are at school. i needed to run two more errands. i wanted to head home to take a nap. but i didn't have enough time to go all the way home, take a good nap and get them. so seriously. what to do? i returned some things. i parked under a tree and listened to music in the car. i mean, it was almost comical. i wanted to go to school and watch my kids through the two-way mirrors. but really? their last day, and i simply couldn't occupy all of my time? crazy.

when i picked them up, i picked up goo first and took pictures with her teachers, who were very teary-eyed. because i'm all-business, i told them i would talk to them once i got big h. i went to big h's room, and he was FAST asleep on his mat. as usual. the kid who never naps at home naps EVERYDAY at school. goo and i woke him up. we took pictures of him with his teachers. i hugged one of his teachers who cried and said kind words. i regrouped and headed across the hall to goo's teachers. i hugged them and let go. that good cry? that makes you shake? yep. did it. in public. and i didn't care. because these are the women who love on my punkin. who helped goo learn to use the toilet. who point her to jesus.

i got outside, and goo pitched a fit.

and ahhh...all was right with the world again. regroup. :)

we headed to the ice cream store with two of big h's best friends. i felt bad because there was a swim party after school, but i just couldn't make it work. knowing big h isn't totally confident in the water yet. and goo? not so much. i was too nervous about having both children at a pool and not being able to make sure they were both safe at the safe time.

tonight was movie night. pizza for kiddos. subway for mom and dad.

and so. preschool for my big man is over. and i'll be honest. i'm sad. i wrote in my journal about it this morning. but for now, i'm just going to focus on having a ROCKIN' summer with kiddos. (because i can't handle the thought of kindergarten right now. you just wait until september.)

other thoughts. last week, went back to my hometown with my parents for a close friend's mom's funeral. do i dare say it was a special time? special to go and support my friend and her family. special to honor an AMAZING woman. special to experience an incredibly moving memorial service. special to have time in the car with my parents. special to be back in my hometown where i grew up. special to hang out at an old friend's house for a sleepover.

nothing really planned for this summer. other than a vacation to virginia with my family, including my parents. and hopefully a vacation to see my in-laws at their place.

big h and goo are both in very memorable stages right now.

goo? she says no ALL. THE. TIME. and when i tell her no, she says, "YES MA'AM!!" and in a not-very-cute tone of voice. and i want to be firm with her. but i have to turn my back so i don't laugh and have her see me buckle. she's not so kind with big h. but she loves him to the moon and back. but when he asks her cute things or wants to hug her, she is mean to him and turns him off. bless his heart. but then, out of the blue, she wants to love on him and play with him and hug him. we're working on this.

she consistently puts her shoes on the wrong feet. oh, it kills me. not her, apparently.

she wears a pull up at night right now (don't tell her MDO teachers), just in case. but right when we put on the pull up, she wants dora (pronounced doh-ruh) panties on over the pull up. every night. underwear on top of the pull up. i love this kid.

home girl is still in a crib. and i love it. she sleeps so well. she goes to sleep so well at night, and she loves sleeping in her little cozy spot. and i love that, too. :) she sleeps with "muh," a pottery barn kids pink elephant, a pink piggy, a little stuffed doll that she calls "baby guhl," and "mermaid." it's an ariel dive toy that was originally a bathtub toy. and now, it's basically muh's best friend. mermaid has climbed the goo popularity ladder VERY FAST.

goo loves doh-ruh and anything that has to do with her (swiper, diego, alicia, baby "daa-dahr" or baby jaguar, boots, and our personal favorite...tapir). she loves dora saves the mermaids and diego saves the mermaids (yes, there's a theme). she also watching boz.

big h is........SUPER HEROES. period. batman, spiderman, superman, robin, indiana jones (?). big h has worn the same pair of shoes EVERYDAY since the beginning of the school year. he's a committed little guy. they are worn down. i want to keep them and do something with them. any suggestions? he's had four other pairs-EXACT SAME PAIR since he started mothers' day out in 2005. he's ready to take swimming lessons again. and he's informed me that his "tumbling" class that he's taken for two or three years is actually called "gymnaxtix." hopefully we'll be able to do that again this summer.

wanted to spred some cheer. i have a "friend" from my hometown who is a card designer. go look her up. she is amazing. simple. elegant. classy.

also. i ordered a bow for goo for Easter. (no, we STILL haven't taken Easter pictures.) she sent me an email the same day with a picture of the bow, asking me if it was what i was hoping for. and i kid you not -- two days later, it was in my mailbox. crazy. order some.

surprisingly, that's all i got tonight. earlier today, i said to myself, "ok, i've gotta blog everything swirling around in my head." luckily for you, i did. and apparently there wasn't much. :)

leaving you with recent pictures. and then i'm off to bed.




i love these two.

big h's spiderman pose in front of school. he's serious business when it comes to his super heroes.

goo with nana's reading glasses on. looking like a librarian.

glasses for everyone.

big h's best friend. (marina, recognize this little man?)

sandbox work is tough around here.

yummy ice cream.

why won't my daughter's hair grow? seriously. someone please figure this out for me.

posed?

first time down the pole by himself. almost.

i love this girl.

at least her bright orange crocs are on the right feet this time.

quirky gal, that daughter of mine.

i almost didn't post this. but c'mon? we're so classy.

to big h, bubbles are serious.

to goo, they're not.

telling a tall tale.

after her surgery, goo has actually grown accustomed to wearing sunglasses outside. her doc said it's actually a good idea. so we're sticking with it. of course, they're white. she's so hip.

when goo and i played in the rain a couple of weeks ago.

night y'all.

yet another hospital update

seriously?

seriously.

i'll be honest. i'm ready for a hospital update sabbatical. because this whole experience is starting to get old.

however, one thing that does NOT get old? talking about my freaking awesome kid(s).

just in case you were wondering, buz and i had an awesome anniversary yesterday. per tradition, we went to a local mexican restaurant, talked about our marriage, highs and lows, exchanged cards and gifts. and having exorbitant amounts of chips, salsa, tamales, and frozen beverages. ahhh...to be with my man.

then, we headed to starbucks to watch the video i made for buz. (for the record, i tried FEVERISHLY to get that slide show uploaded to my blog or my site. but after working on it for DAYS, i had no success. so i had to upload to crappy YouTube. i would apologize, but you probably didn't care.) he liked it.

then, we headed home and relieved our RAD babysitter.

oh! question. she is graduating from high school. i am SO hoping she's not reading this right now, but does anyone have any really cool and hip graduation present ideas. to say that this precious senior means a lot to us is an understatement. we ADORE her. even goo does. and trust me -- that's saying a lot. so we want to get her something great. (kathy? suggestions?)

(man, i'm all over the place.)

anyway, let her go home, and i gave him my gift. well, the blog was one of my gifts. but my husband's love language is not words of affirmation, so really, the blog was for me. but because i'm so romantic, my gifts to him this year were new pillows and a really comfy mattress cover. i'm cute. i know.

so this morning...

she couldn't have anything to eat or drink after eight o'clock this morning. and she got up at 810. buz took big h to school while i entertained goo.

NEVER in goo's little 2.75 year life have i EVER had want breakfast. ever. i mean, she eats breakfast. don't get me wrong. but she has NEVER actually asked me for it.

until today. well, of COURSE she did.

and wanted a drink. and asked me over and over again for drink and breakfast. so i'm admitting it here. i lied to my daughter a lot. that we couldn't have anything just yet. that we didn't have any orange juice. that we would have something in a little while. little while meaning after you have SURGERY, sweetheart.

finally, daddy came home from taking big h. that softened the thirst/hunger blow. she picked out her outfit. cherry pajama tops, stripey too-tight target clearance pants, and orange crocs. and some dora princess panties. and grandma, you'll be pleased to know that she insisted on carrying her fancy pink paris purse. she's an accessory girl. makes a mama proud.

we headed there and played on their "toys." with the swine flu scare, they have removed all of their toys from the waiting room. i get it. kind of. but luckily, these things provided the perfect amount of entertainment.

we headed back to pre-op. and oddly enough, we had the same pre-op RN. who is awesome. we also had the same anesthesia nurse and anesthesiologist. God is so good. we hung out in pre-op for a while. she got to watch a couple of dora's. daddy got her a little diego toy from the store earlier today as a little treat. and he became fast friends with ariel. she did great.

then, the anesthesia nurse came and got her and said to her, "oh, hey goo. who's that? mermaid? cool. want to come see a cool laser light show with me?"

and that, my friends, was the big departure i was so worried about.

God. is. good. period.

so buz and i went to the parent consultation room and prayed over our sweet little lady. he checked on the status of brett favre maybe coming back AGAIN while i checked awesome twitter and facebook responses.

doctor and came and told us it went fine. and then, the recovery nurses knocked on the door, and when we opened it, we saw her. there, as little as she could possibly look, on the massive-looking gurney, just limp, but resting peacefully and comfortably.

thank you NO VERSED.

i got to hold her and rock her.

let that sink in. i got to ROCK HER. my very sassy, full of life 2.75-year-old daughter. it was heaven on earth. (and you'll notice that i was wearing my customary surgery/procedure t-shirt and khakis. i can't help it. it's a tradition now. i have no idea what i'm going to do if something happens to this shirt. i mean, please. it's only twelve years old.)

they took out her IV and everything else that she was connected to. put on her sunglasses. and we were ready. and surprisingly enough, the sunglasses were truly for medicinal purposes, just not just to look glamorous. her eyes will be really sensitive to light for the next couple of days.

she stayed awake the entire way home. just dazed and confused. we stopped and got chick-fil-a. we got her home, and the three of us watched dora together and ate our chicken. and home girl ate every last bite of her nuggets AND fruit. and she slurped her lemonade dry. that's my girl.

i put her down for a nap around 1:45-ish. buz took a nap too. i stayed awake so i could receive our meal for tonight. (which by the way...OH MY. yummy. she doesn't read my blog, but i am giving her kudos.)

then, i hit the hay. i woke up to the phone ringing at about 315. and people, i'm almost positive i was in REM sleep. because i heard her say hello a couple of times. and then i hung up. because i didn't know what to do. because i was in ANOTHER WORLD.

i looked at the caller ID, and it was the friend who had picked up big h from school. somehow i called her back. still not sure how. and had a very lengthy conversation with her. one where i insisted i was NOT asleep. bless my heart. we decided that one of us would go get big h around 445 or so.

yeah, buz woke up and woke ME up at FIVE O'CLOCK.

so i called her back in a panic, telling her that buz was ON HIS WAY, I PROMISE!! and then she had a good laugh because she knew instantly that i was asleep earlier. apparently, she enjoyed our conversation.

and at 5, goo was still fast asleep. i woke her up and loved on her. we had dinner and played together. we took a bath, and big h could NOT STOP looking at and commenting on her eye. trust me -- it is again NOT for the faint of stomach.

so we read some stories together and got jammies on. big h insisted on batman (shocker), and goo wanted to be supergirl (read: big h's old superman jammies that he outgrew). i put her to bed.

and then. then, the best part of my day.

(i promise this NOVEL of a post will be finished soon.)

i had already shut the door when big h said, "mom! mom! she forgot her new diego! can i go give it to her?"

now, let me say that i would normally say no in an instant. because once we put her in her bed, she's there for the duration. and she doesn't do well with distractions. but my gut said that this was important. for her. and for him.

the conversation that followed:

H: goo! do you want your diego?

G: yes.

H: here's your diego. can you reach it?

G: yes. tuhn-syoo, big h. (that's thank you.)

H: oh, you're welcome. i love you. sleep good, k? don't yet the bed bugs bite."

(at this point i'm cringing because she's never heard the whole bed bugs thing.)

big h gets to the door and says i love you again and blows her kiss. let the record state that i have NEVER seen the boy blow a kiss. then, he decides that's not enough.

H: goo, can i kiss you good night?

G: yes.

H: can you stand up so i can reach you?

G: yes. (she's a woman of few words at nighttime.)

kiss

G: i love you, big h. night night, big h.

H: i love you too, goo. night night. you have a good rest, k?

and he walks out the door to find his mama lying in a pool of her own cheesy melty mess.

i love those two.

so. to recap. because i know you're dying to just finish this thing already. goo? rockstar. hoss. total champ.

shocker.

no, really. it IS a shocker. i really had doubts about her. but she nailed it today. bravery and courage at their finest. and i couldn't love her any more.

and her brother? yeah, well, ditto for him too.

and my husband?

let's just say some days i can't get over how blessed i am.

8 years

you know.

there's really nothing magical about the eighth. i'm not even sure what the eighth year gift is, according to hallmark.

but this year? is, for some reason, really, really special to me. i put a lot of thought into my gift. bought cards. told my kids about it. booked a sitter way in advance. sorted through a lot of memories in the last couple of days. have spent a lot of time reflecting. on just how much i love my man.

buz, i love you.

i love that you eat the orange and yellow starbursts because pink and red are my favorite. even though you don't like the orange or yellow ones.

i love that you bought me an iPhone even though we couldn't really afford it. because you knew how happy it would make me.

i love how you come to my pity parties. AND wear a hat for the occasion.

i love how you say "hey girls" every time you walk in and see me at the computer. because you automatically think i must be chatting online with a girl about a purse or something. because i love chatting about purses.

i love how you've put to rest the discussion of the reason behind a good handbag. because you know my logic will always beat yours. every. time.

i love that you throw out your made up photoshop terms when i'm at the computer, like, "color bang," "color wow," and "color pop."

i love that you can fall asleep in approximately 6.4 seconds. i'm surprised you never did this when we were first married.

i love that i didn't know that you snored when we first got married.

i love that our hot tub on our honeymoon was broken.

i love that we both got seafood allergies on our honeymoon. you broke out, i think? i just swelled up like a klingon. and you loved the fact that that was the first description i came up with.

i love that you "shred" with me.

i love that you keep your beard (even though i can't imagine how hot all of that hair is on your face) because you know how much i love it.

i love that i'm your best friend.

i love to watch private practice with you on thursday nights. mainly because i love your constant commentary. :) (and because neither of us really like the show anyway.)

i love to hear about your job. period.

i love that you are an early to bed, early to rise guy. and that i'm the exact opposite. and that somehow we've made it work.

i love what a wonderful dad you are.

i love (not really) that your fingernails grow faster and longer than mine. so NOT fair.

i love that every year on our anniversary, i try to find a new outfit. because i love looking nice when we're together.

i love that you love old school christian music. and that i've introduced you to all the christian music that you listen to now. even though you swear you've been listening to "this hip stuff" the whole time. bless your heart.

i love your parents. a lot. (and secretly, i love that they love me. i can say that, right? it doesn't sound big headed, right?)

i love that you make me have nights off when days are hard.

i love that somehow you never take nights off. even if i suggest them.

which means, i love how devoted you are to us.

i love that you touch things at old navy, gap, and target with me when we have date nights. even though you hate doing those things.

i love that you insist on wearing your carpenter jeans and tapered gap jeans from the late 90s. even though i've bought you jeans for every major (and minor) holiday.

i love holding your hand in church.

i love that you carry our coffee inside church so that i can drop off goo with free hands.

i love when you move your mouth when you write. but insist that you don't.

i LOVE watching you sing at church. (um, you think i don't watch. but i do.)

i love listening to you when we talk about the "state of the union" of our marriage and family. i get goosebumps when you talk about Christ leading you and being the center of our home.

i love saturday nights. blockbuster, pei wei, and snuggling.

buz. i love you. i am honored to be your wife. thank you for loving me. thank you for cherishing me. thank you for "covenanting with God and with me to be my husband."

happy eight years.

this may be one of my favorite pictures of us. :) seriously? what are you looking at? or looking for? i know, i know. it's a lot of dress. that's why i picked it.

prepare yourself. this is a *bit* long. caffeinated beverage? perhaps a snack?

tomorrow

it's like we're addicted to medicine. or those who practice it, really. or financing lake houses for those who practice it, to be more exact.


oh, i kid.


but tomorrow? goo is having eye surgery. again.


*BIG SIGH*


her surgery isn't until noon. which is a beating. because she can't have anything to eat or drink after six in the morning. home girl doesn't get up until eight.


so sadly enough, my biggest prayer right now is that she forgets all about food or drink.


also, a big prayer request for us is that she won't require any versed. both of my kids respond really poorly to this drug. i understand that it's supposed to relax you. but the wake up and rest of the day is a bear. so i'm praying that the Lord just relaxes goo on her own without the need for this.


praying for the surgeon. that he would have steady hands. that the procedure would go extra smoothly. and the results would stick. that there would be no need for further operations. goo has had enough. (this being her fifth time to go "under.")


tomorrow night, we have a meal being brought, which is such a huge blessing. tomorrow afternoon, big h is going to be playing at a friend's house, which will be fun for him and great for goo to get to have the house to herself.


anyway, just pray for my baby tomorrow, if you think of it.

school pictures

so i may have mentioned that i got big h and goo's school pictures back a while ago. now i haven't scanned the pictures from years past. i did go ahead and scan this year's pictures. hopefully for your enjoyment.

would it surprise us if big h did anything other than this? i mean, look at this kid. he exudes joy.



and of course, the class picture. there it is again. joy. written all over the kid's face.



and to my surprise? goo? this at this punkin. it's ok. you want to take her home, don't you? i love her. the hair is a little lopsided. but honestly, home girl's hair is in need of some professional attention. but that's neither here nor there.



however, NOT to my surprise? this. :)



word has it she would NOT have it any other way unless she was beside at least one teacher.

goo.

the D gang

stay with me. i've got some history to share.

when buz and i got engaged, i started planning everything. everything. and one thing that i loved doing was choosing my flower girl. i was overjoyed with my choice.

when i first moved to the area, i worked at a local hospital as a social worker in the women and children's services. i went to a three-day seminar about infant loss, which i had studied AT LENGTH in grad school. the first day of the seminar we went around the room and introduced ourselves. the girl next to me stood up and introduced herself, that she was a labor and delivery nurse at a local hospital (mine). and because i'm typically quiet and reserved, i interrupted her as she spoke and said, "I WORK AT THAT HOSPITAL, TOO!" subtlety is a gift. we saw next to one another all three days, and i bored her to tears telling her of the story of buz and me (pre-dating). and trust me. i'm a details girl. bless her heart. anyway, it was a great seminar, and i learned a TON. when we got back to work, we ended up seeing each other frequently and quickly became friends. she had a daughter who was five-ish (amy?).

so needless to say, when buz and i finally decided to get married, i KNEW who would be our flower girl. i vividly remember the day that amy, hannah, and i went to the bridal store to pick out her flower girl dress. she looked BEAUTIFUL.

to make the story even more wonderful, her parents couldn't come with her to our wedding because, you know, they were in RUSSIA adopting two children. so grammy came with her. and hannah did a great (and very slowwwww) job at passing out those flowers. she took her job VERY SERIOUSLY.

fast forward to april 2008. and i get to photograph hannah, who is FOURTEEN (!) and her family of six.

i SO wish i had scanned a picture of hannah and me at my wedding. she was adorable in her little glasses. she has since gotten contacts. i know.

the middle daughter, hillary. i mean, check her out.

grayson, the lone stud.

sarah, the youngest. and i believe the SASSIEST.

the entire family, including grammy and ahda (grandpa).

amy and her awesome husband, paul.

grammy and ahda.

some ice cream mischief.

remember? sass. i LOVE it.

anyway, we had the best time being together. it was a bit surreal. in a wonderful way. D family, i love you so much. you will always hold such a special place in my heart.