seriously, people. the rain. it's gotta stop. now, i am a BIG fan of thunderstorms and laying under a blanket "napping" while i hear the sounds of the raindrops outside.

but enough is enough.

we were all set this morning to head out to a berry patch and go pick berries with some friends of ours. (weentrab, franklin, and totally rad. no, i don't call her totally rad to her face.) never mind that big h doesn't like berries. beside the point. it rained all night long. could present a berry-picking problem. but i am fearless and i am optimistic. bring on some muddy patches and let me pick to my heart's content. until we saw the red and purple on the Doppler radar. not a good sign.

so, someone made an executive decision to go to a nature preserve/playground with all kids involved and then head somewhere for lunch. it was good to not let the little man down. we all drank our starbucks and joyfully watched the little ones play and swing and just generally enjoy themselves. then, we decided to take a "walk." hmmm...how does one express just how high the humidity was? you know i am not a fan of hot weather (understatement). but hot and humid? let's just say that it was lucky i was with good friends. this walk. well, it was longer than we thought. not because any of us was out of shape. but did i mention that we had three 4-year-olds, one 3-year-old, three 2-year-olds, and the goo? and no forms of toddler transportation. so everyone was carried or had to walk. every. last. one. sorry...did i mention the humidity? two of the weentrabs got blisters. big h whined and cried about something. honestly, i can't remember what it was about, but the whining and crying doesn't surprise me anymore. still gets on my nerves, but it never surprises me. oh! i remember. one of the 4-year-olds brought a lightning mcqueen car. the nerve. just kidding. big h just needs something to focus on being sad about. and this car was it. once the nature walk was complete, we thought nothing sounded better than some burgers. and whoever made that decision was the smartest of the bunch. and there was a little game room in the back. so all of the kids (except the goo, of course) finished their lunch and played by themselves. goo had some milk and some finger foods and just cooed at and looked cute to everyone. easiest baby around. she looks a little less cute these days due to the multiple massive head traumas. but i think she's going to be fine.

all home for naps. or so we thought. goo took a little one. and big took a littler one, only to wake in a foul mood. and to the rain. seriously. the rain. so he and dad cleaned out the garage (HALLELUJAH, SWEET JESUS! thank you, thank you, thank you BUZ), and the goo and i sorted through clothes to take to the consignment store. poor goo. all of the sudden, and i mean all of the sudden, she has outgrown all of her current clothes. the day just drug on and on. because of the rain. but we headed out for dinner, and that lifted EVERYONE'S spirit. much needed break. and BOTH kids were in bed by SEVEN O'CLOCK. the goo was in bed by 6:30.

and so now buz and i are settling in for a nice night at home with a little snack and a movie. i will save my pure excitement regarding the snack for another post. please don't think i've deserted my one true love. i just have a little sentimental attachment to this little 12 oz. can of sweet goodness.

oh metroplex, how you have failed us

not really. but we really, really like denver. we are not moving or anything. we just really like denver.

so our vacation. buz and i went on vacation. actually are on vacation. to take my shower this morning, i must stop sweating from my hotel workout room work out. ahhh...joys of a life without children. so i am sitting here without buz. because he is at his conference. because that is the whole reason we are on vacation, you know. the conference.

i don't have pictures because i didn't bring any cords. i did that on purpose. because i would have seen "fan brad" (will explain at a later time) had i worked on pictures and blogging and other things other than him. because, you know, we are on vacation and all.

we began said vacation by me purchasing some "hip" sunglasses. bless my heart. people, i am not hip. and you know what? i am ok with it. i have come to terms with my out-of-style-ness. but i thought, "i'm without children. i'm going to see if i can pull it off."

i can't.

they looked a little something like this. they weren't these, but they looked very similar. seriously, poor me. those of you who know me know that i can't pull these off. but i tried. and because i purchased them, i felt compelled to wear them. don't be fooled. i looked like i was wearing flight goggles rather than hip sunglasses. but nonetheless, they kept the sun out of my eyes.

---break in post---have to go. have to meet buz and get ready to head home. will finish once i am back to reality.

back to reality. tough but good. i should have written how much i missed my kids while i was actually on vacation. things are just as we left them. a 3 1/2-year-old with a lot of opinions. :) and a go-with-the-flow little peanut.

so many thoughts running through my head. which is why i can't come up with even one clear thought.

so recap of the kids: camp nana was great. big h did great at swimming but would really prefer to only swim with courtney, his swimming instructor. he has asked me several times since i have been back if courtney can come over and swim. two things that make that difficult to answer. 1) we don't have a pool. i mean, we have a red turtle sandbox that we converted into a mosquito-infested pool. but really, no pool. and 2) i think courtney is about 24 (or younger) and has a job. so the chances of courtney actually coming over to swim are highly unlikely. not sure how to break that to big h. goo did fine. goo is pulling up to EVERYTHING and falling a LOT! (her forehead is home to her battle wounds.) nana got out of the house everyday. impressive. fed them everyday. impressive. put them to bed. impressive. used both car seats correctly. impressive. worked the DVR. cardiac arrest for us. seriously, folks, and i don't mock nana by saying this. the fact that she could turn on a DVRd backyardigans (a specifically requested episode even) at a moment's notice is nothing short of a miracle. and she was/is quite tickled with herself. hats off to you, nana. and by the end of the week, big h was telling her he would miss her while he was swimming. and probably one of the highlights was when she got to go to parents' day at the last day of swimming. she and the goo go to go watch big h jump off the side of the pool. into the water. under the water. this is big. and he got a swim school t-shirt and a lollipop. life doesn't get much better than that.

recap for buz and me: well, i got to do a lot of things by myself. i walked into the downtown denver walgreens so many times. just because i could. walk in by myself, that is. i went to an outlet mall. and sad to report, i did not buy a handbag. i felt sure i would fall in love with one at factory store prices. but no such luck. we got to see a lot of downtown denver. we got to go to a swanky young part of town and have dinner and see a movie at a really fun theater. we were the only ones in the theater. so much fun. reminded us of when we used to see movies together. you know, in the theater. we live on the edge like that. (oh, and let me know if you want me to tell you to see it or not.) i got to have lunch with a "friend" of mine from high school. actually, she was the head trainer at the high school when i was a student athletic trainer. so technically, she was kind of one of my teachers. but now, that i'm out of high school and have two kids and all, we're more like friends. good times. and then, buz and i went drove out to evergreen. this was just what we needed. some handholding around a beautiful lake in the middle of the mountains. and only to be topped off with a nice cold long neck at a restaurant on the river. oh wait. the long neck was buz's. i didn't have one BECAUSE I WAS CARDED! hallelujah i was carded! my license was in the car on the other side of the lake, so i sure wasn't going to go get it. and really, i was so excited about being carded that i just sipped on my ice water with glee. we headed back and ordered room service and got a pay-per-view movie. is it obvious that we don't get out much?

the one downer of the trip. i got a cold. and if you asked buz, i'm sure he would tell you that i was a sheer delight to be around.

and the other thing i noted was that we will probably not ever apply to be on the amazing race. period.

but all in all, it was so much fun to be with buz. just buz. and wake up late, or just later than normal. with not a care in the world, other than which restaurant to eat at or at which starbucks we wanted to get our lattes.

i thought this sign was hilarious. you'll notice if you look closely that the sign says, "keep gate closed." but there is no fence with the gate.

my sweet buz. i promise i didn't make him pose this way. we were just taking a break from our walk around the lake.

our restaurant on the river.

buz and me in front of the lake and some quaint shops. couldn't even begin to tell you what in the free world possessed me to get a ice cream cone and hold it in the picture.

uh oh

i am in love with another man....

the father of my children. my sweet buz, you are the most incredible father.

i will never forget the day we went to wal-mart to get the test. and the cashier said in the most eloquent of ways, "so...you think ya is?"

the most appropriate start to our journey, don't you think?

i took all the steps and we waited. and waited. and waited.

we prayed that the Lord would be with us throughout those 3 minutes and throughout what could potentially change our lives forever. if there were two lines.

and there were.

pretty much from that day on, you have proven yourself to be the best provider, husband, and daddy.

going through childbirth classes together. coming to showers with me. you coming to EVERY doctor's appointment with me. admiring my belly, even as it grew to sizes we never would've imagined. being there through all the scares with big h. letting me having Subway as my "last supper" before we were induced. standing right beside me during our two DAYS of labor, only to welcome big h via c-section. oh, i was so sad. we mourned the loss of the "normal" delivery that i had dreamed about. sticking with me as i did my best to nurse big h, only to realize that "we" would do that for his first year of life. being my best friend and confidant through all of big h's issues and worries. supporting me in every decision i made as a mommy. being "daddy" to someone who is very, very hard to please. that is one tall order, buz. holding your tongue with him when i have a tendency to well, you know, not hold mine. letting me mourn and mourning yourself when we found out little person #2 was not going to join our family. but bouncing back, as we always do, and praying for God's will for our little family. and He brought forth two more pink lines. and you showed me your cautious optimism, allowing me to be excited but also allowing me to be scared. encouraging me to take my fear and leave it at Christ's feet. constantly encouraging me as we parented big h while trying to be excited for the arrival of our next little person, gender to be determined at delivery. allowing me to purchase things that we probably didn't need. as always, being there every. step. of. the. way. and then, hearing the doc say, "well, hello sweetheart." oh His perfection. and to know that you were and are going to be wrapped around her sweet little possibly-pink-loving finger. oh dear. you are in for it.

you are the glue, my sweet buz. you are the one who holds us together. you are the one who sits at the feet of Jesus presenting your gratitude as well as asking Him for things in such manly confidence. i am positive, without being prideful, that the one place you are most comfortable is with us, your family.

and we love you for that. and appreciate you.

buz, thank you for loving me. but thank you, especially today, for loving our little munchkins. for being the kind of daddy other kids can only hope for and dream about.

we are wild about you.


pregnant with big h (at the OU/texas game and 2 weeks before big h was born)


"birthing shoes" (buz wanted something all his own. since i *got* to get maternity clothes, and all. and he picked these. God bless him.)


va va va voom (with big H)


our little family as of october 2003


birthing shoes, second time around.


as always. buz leading us to the Father, in thanks and to make a request for safe delivery for the goo


seriously, buz, you couldn't be MORE ATTRACTIVE! grrr...


buz thanking Jesus that we have a girl


buz introducing big h to his new baby sister


big h's best friend


the goo's best friend

it ain't pretty, folks

(prepare for some raw vulnerability)

today i was that mom.

that mom who woke up bitter that i was having to wake up. at 6:15. (i realize some of your children wake up way earlier. cut me some slack, here.)

that mom who found herself frustrated that i had to change 2 diapers (gross ones) before 6:30. the frustration comes from the fact that my 3 1/2-year-old is still in pull ups (just expensive diapers) during the day and a diaper at night.

that mom who didn't shower this morning.

that mom who fixed eggos for breakfast. not because that's what everyone was craving. but because it was the easiest.

that mom who got frustrated that her 10-month-old daughter didn't eat much of said eggo that i went to so much trouble to fix her.

that mom who got frustrated again that her 10-month-old made a huge mess of the fruit i fixed her instead.

10. months. old.

that mom who rolled her eyes because her 3 1/2-year-old wanted to watch morning tv this morning. (never mind the fact that he gets to do this every morning.)

that mom who almost yelled at the 3 1/2-year-old because he continued to inform me that he was NOT EXCITED about going to a splash park with his friends.

that mom who proceeded to give him a lecture about how it's not ok to take fun away from others and that that was what he doing to me and his sister.

that mom who was frustrated that her 10-month-old daughter had another poop right before we were supposed to leave.

that mom who wasn't friendly to the moms of her 3 1/2-year-old's friends, even though we hang out regularly.

that mom who just checked her email and blogs while her 10-month-old napped and her 3 1/2-year-old watched rudolph. (we get our seasons a little out of whack around here.)

that mom who was frustrated with her 3 1/2-year-old because he cried the entire way to his swim lesson (day 3).

and that mom who took her children to wendy's for dinner in their swimsuits. (including mom's)

once they went to sleep, i breathed a sigh of relief.

today was one of those days. and today i was one of those moms. please tell me you can relate.

summertime is hard around here. it is hot. big h has tubes, so he has to wear ear plugs. let's just say he does NOT LIKE TO WEAR THOSE, MAMA! and don't be fooled into thinking that he only says it once. and the goo is mobile, so it's tough for her to just sit with her feet dangling in the water. she wants to move. she's spent 10 months immobile. it's high time to get off her hiney and conquer this world.

update on swim lessons:

they are at 3 pm. this is a tough time of the day. because he doesn't usually go down until 2-ish, if he takes a nap at all. so he hasn't had a nap either day. so we get in the car and head down to the house where they host it. monday we had to go to a house where we didn't know anyone. (mama mess up) they said he was "such a sweet little boy but somewhat reluctant." yesterday, we were at weentrab's house, and so i watched from inside. nightmare. i'm sure weentrab just felt sorry for me. because there her child goes with her little goggles, jumping off the edge. my child is that child. the child who has an instructor all to himself. and literally cried the entire 40 minutes. but still wanted ice cream afterwards. and actually wanted to go get some of his own goggles (which he refused to wear at the lesson). so we bought them in high hopes that things would turn around. when we went to the splash park today, he wore the goggles and informed everyone that he was a diver. he was so proud of himself.

but then.

then, it was time to head to swim lessons. and he informed me that "i do not want to go to any houses to swim today." and cried the entire way there.

fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), swim lessons were canceled today due to lightning. information that we received once he had already gotten out of the car and was being held by one of the instructors. we'll just make up on friday.

*big sigh*

today was just one of those days where i feel like i'm parenting eeyore. thank you, shannon, for coining this phrase. it now gets used on a daily basis around this house. sometimes buz and i wonder if there is a physiological part of his brain that makes him actually enjoy crying. i mean, i am frustrated just thinking about it right now.





we prayed 3 different times today to ask Jesus to make our hearts cleaner, to be nicer to our sister, and to have a better attitude.

and buz is not here tonight. he's actually at a sleep study tonight. the snoring had gotten pretty bad. poor buz. wait...poor me. :) so he made an appointment. ironically enough, ever since he made the appointment, his snoring has stopped. we'll see.

so tonight i am resting quietly in the palm of the hands of my Father. waiting patiently for Him to remind me that everything is fine. to remind me how much He loves me. to remind me that tomorrow is a new day.

i know, poor me, right?

(i mean, don't ya just want to jam to a little "walking on sunshine" right now on your ipod? i promise a more uplifting post next time.)

i'm a jetsetter, really

we just got back from our second summer *vacation* on friday. and it's only the second week of june. never mind that we are not going anywhere else the rest of the summer.

oh, and to get some much needed sympathy/attention/praise/admiration, let me just mention that this was the second vacation that it was big h, the goo, and me.

read that again.

i did NOT mention buz. hence, the reason i put an asterisk by the word vacation. because i'm not really sure it can be classified as a vacation when i travel 5 1/2-6 hours in the car by myself with 2 children under the age of 4 and spend 2 nights and 3 full days without my husband.

now, to all you gals out there with either husbands who travel regularly or have more than 2 children, i tip my hat to you. way to go. you have my respect. i'm just sayin' i am one tired mama.

this time, we traveled south to visit one of my best buddies, marino. no, that's not her real name.

marino and i met 12 years ago working at a summer kamp. we worked in the kitchen serving food and cleaning the kitchen after mealtimes. now, if you ever met marino, you would keel over laughing at the thought of this. let's just say marino is not quite the gal you would expect to carry a big bucket of slop (leftover food) to the trash room and dump it out, while wearing a beauty of a canvas apron. in 106 degree heat. with no makeup. just not that girl. not that i know who that girl is. but marino, she is not.

sometimes there would be a conversation going on and then joke telling would begin. you know how you get started with "one time, i was doing _____," and another person will say, "oh yeah, well i _______." and marino was that person who would finish, "oh well, one time i _______." and then you'd hear the sound of the broken record. and everyone would look at her. and she would look at me and say, "i took it too far, huh?" and that actually gave me more laughs than the original joke ever did.

somehow after knowing me for a month in the hottest time of the year, she decided she wanted to stay friends. insanity due to humidity, i guess. because let's remember, people. i am NOT A SUMMER PERSON. and i sweat like a junior on the high school football team during 2-a-days.

anyway.

somehow we have stayed friends. i moved here when she and her now husband were living here. they were my only friends when i first got here.

you think i'm kidding.

and i had no trouble being the awkward third wheel girl. because i needed friends, people.

somehow i started calling her husband chris, c-dawg. no idea why or when. but he answered to it, so we were cool. however, he and marino began calling me "big jan." not sure how that came about, but i'm cool with nicknames, you know. and so big jan stuck.

chris and marino were around when buz and i started "hanging out." chris was there for all the times i had ask really important questions. (these are typically questions my brother would answer, but because he lived in another state, i needed answers NOW.)

ok, chris, buz just fixed me dinner at his house last night and had rented one of my favorite movies and had cold dr. pepper in the refrigerator. does he like me?

ok, chris, buz just asked me to come have dinner with his mom, who is in town for the weekend. what outfit says, "hi. i really, really like your son and really, really want to date him?"

ok, chris, if he took me to a movie and paid, does that mean it was a real date?

ok, chris, what happens if he walks me up to my door after the (backstreet boys) concert? and what if it's awkward?

you know...the important stuff.

anyway, i LOVED chris and loved him for marino. they were/are perfect together. so perfect that i got to stand next to her in their wedding seven years ago next week.

and she stood next to me 11 months later.

suffice to say we're pretty good friends. such good friends, in fact, that she's only seen big h once, never met the goo, and had a 2-year-old daughter that i had never met.

sad.

so we decided to remedy that. we really tried to get together in april. you know, before SUMMER hit. but apparently, we are too busy. (i say we to make myself sound cool. we, our family, are not busy.)

we played, ate, slept, and did more eating, sleeping, and playing.

and ironically enough, for those of you in blogville (or whatever you call it), she just happens to have a sister. now i knew her sister, you know, because we were in the same wedding and all. but that was the extent of our little relationship.

so i was fortunate to get to introduce her to big h and the goo and i was able to finally meet caroline. (somehow i forgot my camera. only big mama holds the key to such a blackmailable piece of goodness.)

and in true big h fashion, we, meaning he, left in tears. nice.

don't think big h didn't like miss caroline. oh he did. it just happened to be that miss caroline had too many cool toys. all of which big h wanted to play with, at the exact same time caroline was playing with them. it is so rough being 3 1/2, you guys.

but they exchanged email addresses and promised to be lifelong pals. big mama, SUPER FUN hanging out with you.

the goo was her usual high maintenance self.

marino, i cannot tell you how much fun i had laughing, crying, and being mommies with you. your sweet SG is so lucky that you're her mama.

(don't you want to just eat her up?)

and big h is still talking about his friend "kiss" who called him jelly face/squared cracker head.

amazingly enough, we didn't leave marino's house in tears. but we weren't finished with our "friends from the past" tour of 2007.

we got to go see one of my best buddies from college. (the same "i was in her wedding, she was in my wedding" story.) she was going to be pretty busy the 3 days i was there. so we decided to see her and her 2 DAUGHTERS on the way out of town. these were the 3rd and 4th girls big h met in a 2-day time span. oh, and he met all of these girls on their turf, i mean house, i might add. so things went well until being there 5 minutes too long. and he decided to peg my friend's 19-month-old daughter in the head with a plastic doctor kit. attaboy, big h. he and i had a pretty stern discussion about his behavior (in private, of course), and he got an ever so loving, gentle pat on this hiney.

and we left in tears. again.

and mama just had to push the envelope, didn't she? i was so physically and emotionally tired from the 2 weeks of togetherness with my children that i knew that the only thing that would really make me feel better and all warm and fuzzy was a purse, of course. a really nice handbag.

so i stopped at a really great outlet about an hour outside of marino's house that had some really great handbag stores. never mind it was 154 degrees outside with a humidity level of 110 percent and both of my children were asleep in the backseat. nope, i had to get me a purse. so we stopped.

i couldn't do it. i went in 2 of the 3 stores and there were too many people to get (my double wide stroller) around. so i wasn't able to feel them all and "try them on" and the other important parts of the handbag purchase process. so i got my kids back in the car, realizing the goo was hungry. so i thought we would just run right in to a fast food restaurant and get some piping hot water for her bottle (she likes it like coffee, thanks to uncle bob and aunt emily). so because i'm smart, i brought the double stroller along for this trip.

at this particular restaurant, i had to stand in line for my hot water. i was ok with that. except that it took SIXTEEN minutes to get it ready for me. you think i'm exaggerating the sixteen minutes part. except, i'm not.

i finally feed her and get ready to use the restroom and change diapers.

except that my double wide stroller wouldn't fit through the bathroom door. ok. deep breath. oh, and did i mention that it was 154 degrees? so after a HUGE prayer, i asked this cute little engaged couple if they would watch the stroller (with the kids in it, mind you) while i used the restroom really quickly. and only by God's grace, both children were still there when i came back. thank you, Jesus. and thank you, cute engaged couple. i hope i'm there to repay the favor when you have a child.

fairly uneventful trip until we started creeping back into the metroplex. creeping. because i just had to stop and look at handbags, we arrived into the southern part of the metroplex at about 4:20 pm.

on a friday afternoon.

and we live in the northern part of the metroplex. let's just say it was 5:50 pm when we arrived in the driveway. i don't think i have ever seen big h so happy to see buz. the goo was even excited.

i hugged buz and kissed him. and grabbed my purse. i had to be alone.

ahhh...

in other news:

tomorrow, we start swim 2007. last year, out of the 10 straight week days that we were scheduled to "learn to swim," i believe big h got in the water 6 of them. and mostly sat on the side of the pool eating teddy grahams and squirting water out of someone's bath toy from home. oh, and it was 2 weeks before the goo was born. so i was a vision of loveliness in my motherhood maternity tankini. so we'll see how this goes. i forgot to mention -- he still has to wear his ear plugs this summer. that was one of the reasons he didn't get in the water last year. oh, dear Jesus. have mercy on me.

and....buz and i are going on a childless vacation next tuesday. to denver. anyone know anything fun to do in denver? buz is going to be at a conference during the day. i just know i am going to be so miserable with nothing to do. (insert giggling.)

that about wraps it up.

i'm here to report...

that i was able to go see my old stomping grounds. just. plain. weird.

my kids are incredible. they did a great job on the way there. it's about a 4 1/2-hour drive. but we stretched it to about 5 or so to get out and eat and walk around. but for future reference, i will bring *some* kind of stroller while my oldest in STILL IN DIAPERS because what to do with the goo while we changed big h's poop. so did not think about that before i packed ever so lightly. tough call. so i did what any white trash citizen would do. i put the goo in the mcdonalds high chair and just pretended it was a stroller, pushing our way into the bathroom. unsanitary, probably. necessary, definitely.

we got there, and who knew the goo could sleep so well in a pack and play? you go, girl.

tuesday was surreal, in a way. i went to a "play date" (i quote it because ever since i had children, for some reason i do not like the term) with 2 of my friends from elementary school and one of their friends from college. i was quite surprised at how easily big h warmed up to the new environment. but that's not to say the morning/afternoon was without issue. always an issue. but crazy to look around watching my kid play with the kids of 2 of my buddies from 5th and 6th grade. and to have us sit around like "old" ladies, talking about who saw so-and-so at the grocery store, and the latest snack to be had in a whole wheat wrap, and which preschool her kid goes to vs. why that girl homeschools and how much flack she gets about it. very mature, parental topics. big h did find that he had a love/hate relationship with the little 2-year-old girl. the only girl (besides the goo) there, i might add. they were either sharing and playing side by side. or well, the opposite. funny...kind of? but how dare i laugh at my highly emotional little boy? god love him.

tuesday night, i got us all psyched because my mom had arranged for the goo to have a sitter while i took big h out to a little kid amusement park. i was so excited. and being the AWESOME! mom i am, i got big h really excited too. yeah, we were really excited right up until we drove up to the park and saw the sign. seriously, this is the only way i can describe how both big h and i felt.


big h was devastated. it was horrible. horrible. so we went and got some ice cream and went to kmart and each bought a "toy." a backyardigans toy for big h and well, some summer shorts for big h for me. i am such a mom.

next morning was donuts at the same donut place i went on the morning of my wedding. yes, i had donuts on the morning of my wedding. and hamburgers for lunch that day, i might add. only my matron of honor/best friend would know that about me. donuts for nana, big h, mommy, and the goo. first donut experience for the goo. not sure she loves them yet. but big h could have easily polished off about 16 of the "breakfast hot dogs" (i.e. kolaches, pigs in a blanket, sausage rolls, whatever you call them in your neck of the woods). and then, it was back home to the metroplex. pretty uneventful trip. but a meaningful one.

and to tell you just how much buz loves me (as if you didn't already know), he let me go through all of my yearbooks and scrapbooks since 2nd grade. now, all you scrapbookers, don't get excited. there is no acid-free or lignin-free to these things. you're impressed that i even knew that, huh? (hint: i googled it so i would sound more impressive.) but fun, nonetheless. certificates of my perfect attendance in 1st grade. notes to my boyfriends from the mid-high and high school. i know...you're thinking, "wow, she must have had a LOT of boyfriends." quite the contrary. i would have loved to say i wasn't boy crazy. but i was. i tried to act like i wasn't. but i was. and then, my junior and senior year hit, and God sent His grace and mercy upon me and took all of that away and replaced it all with 2 great boyfriends. without making buz feel weird about any of it, let's just say that i had 2 amazing boyfriends who loved the Lord and respected me and set the bar. period.

hmmm...tough call. scan and post pictures from the early years? not sure. will think on that.

2 more issues, and then i promised buz we would actually eat dinner tonight. and then, because it's a saturday and we're all crazy, we may watch some dvr'd oprahs or what not to wears. i love my spouse.

my first issue deals with my recent hair trauma. so i have naturally curly hair. wasn't so curly my whole life but after i had big h, it got pretty consistently curly. i was excited because that gave me a possibility of less maintenance. it was good while it lasted. then, the goo came along. and 2 things happened. first, i got baby bangs. amanda, i am right there with you. but second, a strange curl/no curl phenomenon occurred. the hair on the top of my head went flat. not the bottom or underneath. just the top. nice. so i've been (s)tressed out about it lately. (did you enjoy that little play on words?) i made up my mind. i would go get a "body wave." not to be confused with a perm, mind you. so i went to someone i've never been to before. mistake #1. she started rolling with VERY! TINY! rollers, and i didn't say anything about it. mistake #2. well, the finished product. a 2007 version of me in 7th grade, complete with a coca-cola rugby shirt, 2 pairs of socks, and 2 swatch watches. and a really, really kinky perm. not only that, the front where bangs would be if i had them, was straight. ummm...hey perm lady, that's the whole reason i came to see you. so i washed it and washed it some more. really curly all over and straight right in front. nice. so finally i called the place i go to here for help with my hair trauma. and they said she did a bad job (right, i know) and that all they could do was give me a really good hair cut. and that they did. i think things are looking up. i have a great haircut that disguises my unfortunate experience.

my second issue is more of a question to you out there. i have always been well endowed. nursing did NOT help this *little* problem. actually, just made it worse. big h, the goo, and i ate lunch together the other day, and a mom and her 2 children walked in. they were old enough to be playing some kind of little video game-looking thing. both of them. a post in and of itself. another day. anyway, let's just say they must have had the a/c on, and she was the one to inform me. well, her shirt informed me. bottom line, mama did not have any undergarments beneath her shirt, and she must have been freezing but feeling so fancy free. and she was freezing the ENTIRE time we were there. the entire time. again, i have ALWAYS been well endowed, so i have NEVER entertained the idea of going without. but i mean, what is that like? do any of you go without in public? inform me. inquiring minds want to know...