i define cool

seriously, i do.

i am sitting at a starbucks at 10 in the morning, listening to some music (cool music, nonetheless), typing a post for my blog on "my" laptop, utilizing the WiFi, while sipping a nice warm caffeinated beverage.

i have no doubt people looking at me totally think i'm a college student in the middle of my minimester and plotting out my hip evening with my friends tonight. you know, my friends who wear low rise jeans and vintage t-shirts with palm trees or lacrosse strung heads on the front. and wearing flip flops, of course.

then, i wake from my little fairy tale.

since i was supposed to be in oklahoma with big h, the goo, and my parents spending time soaking up all of my childhood memories, buz had taken the day off to get work done. the work he can't do while the backyardigans are on or the 10-month-old is asleep with the mobile going. the work he can't do because the paint fumes would be too much for the youngsters. the work he can't do with the 3 1/2-year-old on the backpack. i was unaware that he was taking the day off. you know, because i wasn't supposed to be here anyway. buz knows how i love a good surprise. yes, i am one of those people that really does like to be surprised.

last night, we loaded our kids up on meds to hopefully ensure a solid night sleep for everyone. buz and i watched a movie together, and then he played his game and i went to sleep first.

i got to sleep before buz. (shhh...don't tell. buz has a snoring problem, and i sometimes fear nighttime. my dream is to get to sleep before he does, so i don't have trouble falling asleep. and it happened. i fell asleep first.)

the next thing i knew, it was SEVEN O'CLOCK in the morning. i went and got big h out of bed and buz wasn't in bed. nothing out of the ordinary. so big h and i laid in my bed together watching some dora before the sun got up. all the sudden...the door opened.

and my prince charming entered. with starbucks. however, only one starbucks.

was i allowed to be jealous or wonder where mine was?

until he handed me the keys to his car. he said that he had gone downtown to work to get his laptop and his morning gift to me was the keys to his car and his laptop. "go grab some coffee and have a good time online."

love language, people.

so after i changed diapers and put clothes on little people, i was given my ticket to freedom.

and this is when i began thinking of all the young, hip, cool people who will probably want me to go rock climbing or poetry reading with them. or go with them to the latest art exhibit. you know...young, hip, cool things.

poor me. in true janet fashion, things didn't turn out quite the way i had planned. i got to my local starbucks and ordered my fancy drink and some coffeecake. you know, the coffeecake that is LOADED with butter and other things that are so NOT good for you but taste so extremely delicious. i turned on the computer and typed in his password. and the computer froze. so i called to ask advice. we talked on the phone for a while until i realized it wasn't going to work.

i came back home, only to be greeted by 2 very cute munchkins who thought mommy was alreayd back home. buz called the helpdesk and we figured out hte problem.

and bull if i was going to go back to the same starbucks. luckily, i live in a big city with starbucks literally on every corner. so i headed the opposite direction and walked in with such confidence. i turned it on and started having WiFi issues with the hot spot. if you are my mom or dad and are reading that, i'll explain WiFi next time we talk. don't worry. i finally got it to work and i was feeling good.

yeah, so back to me being really hip. i had to come to the realization very quickly that i am, in fact, not hip. i know, i know...you can't believe it either.

first of all, i haven't showered this morning. and it's not that cool "i havne't showered because i have my 8 o'clock class this morning but i look cool because i have on my boyfriend's SAE baseball hat and my function t-shirt from a couple of weekends ago" look. it's the "i haven't showered because my toddler and infant have had mouth sores and have been on pain relievers, and we have lived at the pediatrician's office" look. i don't have cool low-rise jeans and flip flops and some college t-shirt on. i have on the yoga pants, my shoes (which i'm not sure if i should have bought in the first place), and an old t-shirt from a kamp friend. my hair is still sticky from spit out tylenol and mashed green beans.

i also realized my lack of hipness the other day when i went to the mall. apparently, "peep toed" shoes are in. weren't those in back when my mom was pregnant? i mena, they say fashion always comes full circle. but when did i miss the re-entrance of this fad? and gold? it's coming back in? (stop laughing.) and the big wedges and espadrille platforms that will most likely send me back to the neighborhood ER. and shorts that left me with no imagination for what kind of underwear the girls were wearing. and there i was with my double stroller, sounding very old and unhip. and wearing my daily uniform of white t-shirt, khakis, and tennis shoes. safety. that's always been my fashion motto.

as for my ipod, i am not listening to blake lewis or maroon 5 or any other band that i am not even familiar with. and i'm not looking at itunes.com looking for the latest band or solo artist to download. i am listening to "it's about love" by one of the judds, which is the ending song of the veggie tales "lord of the beans." and i am looking on itunes.com at the 2 backyardigans CDs trying to decide which one has the most songs big h would recognize.

i am not making a list of all the clubs and college football games i want to go to in the next couple of months. i am making a list of things to do the next couple of days. one of which includes returning some very fun shoes to DSW because really, i need to get the goo some summer clothes that will fit her growing little 10-month figure.

i am not making a list in my spiral notebook of all the characteristics i want my next boyfriend to have. i am writing in my journal (that i keep in my diaper bag) and making a list of all the things i love about buz. a couple of those things:

• him giving up his morning/afternoon off so i can go sit at starbucks and look hip, young, and cool.
• he watches DVRd oprahs with me (sometimes -- don't let the word get out because he will deny it the first chance he gets).
• he changes clothes the minute he walks in the door from work so he can get on the floor and play with both kiddos.
• he calls me the minute he gets into his car and is headed home from work.
• the way he puts pictures i have taken on his computer as the desktop so that he has an opportunity to tell people that "my wife takes pictures."
• i have never heard him raise his voice with big h (this one brings me to my knees).
• he compliments me on anything i ever cook (being that cooking is so rare around our house).
• he genuinely cares for other people, no matter who they are. i am amazed taht he has meetings during the day with the CEO, surgeons, secretaries from all over the hospital, social workers, patients and their families. and he gives each one of them his undivided attention every time.
• 90% of his communication with me is nonverbal.
• my mother is in LOVE with them. talk about scoring big points. he calls his mother-in-law on his way home from work sometimes just to say hello. yeah, he is that guy that makes your husband look bad. :)
• he calls his mother on his way home from work and ALWAYS tells her he loves her.
• he doesn't bother talking to me about my latest bag purchase. people, i have an addiction. diaper bags just made it worse. and he loves me for it.
• he is 37 years old and plays with legos, playstation, and nerdy "conquer the world" computer games.
• that he moves his mouth when he writes. and denies it.
• the way he knows me IN and OUT, quirks and all.
• and loves me anyway.
• his passion for his family. i can safely say that there is nowhere he'd rather be than with the 3 of us.
• his passion for Christ.

this is not, i repeat NOT, my own attempt at what he did a couple of weeks ago. trust me, i wouldn't even try.

anyway, see what i mean? i'm not a young, hip college student with dreams of becoming this or that. i am actually living my dream right now. and i'm getting ready to pack up my things and go back home. where my 3 dreams are.

can you take the sap? :)

one of my biggest motherhood accomplishments

...was accomplished by someone else.

won't go into detail re: the day today. because you're already cross-eyed from reading the one this morning.

but tonight was a HUGE breakthrough for big h and me.

i was so fed up with the medicine saga. he kept telling me that the only medicine he would take was "the pink one." but every time i would try to give it, he wouldn't budge, and it would be this horrible sight of limbs being restricted and pink sticky stuff splattered on mommy's face and t-shirt.

so i remembered we had bought some of these one time. i threw caution to the wind and prayed that the good Lord would have pity on my weary, sleep-deprived soul.

and He did.

buz was putting the goo down, so it was just big h and me. he was taking his bath, and i went and got the miracle drug. he wasn't budging. until i asked if he wanted mommy to have one with him. he is still SO hoarse, so he whispered an affirmative response.

so i did. and he did. and we heard heavenly laughter and there was much rejoicing. and he wanted more and more of the "fruit treats."

how do you tell your 3 1/2-year-old that he can't have more medicine?

your friendly wisner neighborhood pharmacy

to begin on a positive note, here is how i started my morning yesterday...

note: who's standing in her crib. (sorry, weentrab, i had to use the flash. you know...the goo's room is a deep, dark cave, too, just like big brother's.)

of note: big h's sock that mysteriously appeared in her chair on the left??

sadly enough, the day just slowly went down hill from there. thankfully, buz got the goo up and fed her, so that i could get up with big h and "feed" him his medicine.

let's talk for a minute about my oldest child. since before he was born, he has been a challenge. i was in labor for 2 days. yeah, i said DAYS. every time i would have a contraction, his heart rate would drop. twice it dropped into the "danger zone." the 2nd time, doc said, "out he comes." and he has cried ever since. not really. but close.

so to say that he doesn't take medicine so well would just be a poor excuse for an understatement.

i feel confident that i have secured him a spot in adult therapy due to the torture and trauma i put him through yesterday. scarred for life, people. him and me.

buz finally went to work around 8:30. maybe you don't realize what that statement means. my husband has always been gone before either child has ever gotten up in the morning. and that's not saying that i have late sleepers. i have one of those husbands who makes you sick by his morning energy. my son has inherited that morning energy. heaven help us. so i can only imagine what his co-workers had to say about his time of arrival yesterday morning.

since we were scheduled to leave yesterday late morning, i had scheduled doctor's appointments for both of them yesterday morning. i took big h knowing he had HFMD. i brought the goo along because, well we didn't know what else to do with her. plus, i hadn't canceled her appointment within 24 hours.

so he took one look at big h and told me that it was "just" a strand of HFMD, but that thankfully he hadn't developed any blisters or sores on his hands or feet, just his mouth. oh, that's a relief. (there's sarcasm in that sentence.) he went ahead and took a look at the goo. looked in the first ear and informed me that my daughter had an ear infection. nice. oh, and by the way, she put up quite a fight to let him look in her ears. i was impressed. you go, goo.of course, i'm sure she's starting to realize that you have to be REALLY! LOUD! to get attention around our house.

we saw a different pediatrician because ours was out for the day. now, we, meaning big h, LOVE our pediatrician. scratch that. let's just say we because i too love this man. he LOVES my kid and big h has never cried in his presence. in fact, last Christmas when we were picking items out for grandparents, cousins, etc., he asked what we were going to get for dr. g. we pray for him regularly. and one time at MDO, they had them color a picture of their family.

guess who was part of our family in that picture?

anyway, i was so nervous about this doc as we had never seen him before. and big h does NOT LIKE CHANGE.

we LOVED this guy. we meaning WE, except for the goo when he looked in her ears. big h really liked him. i liked him. and the goo liked him for the most part. he told us to continue alternating Tylenol and Motrin every 3 hours. and to have him continue to drink what we around our house call MB (maalox benadryl blend). but he said to up the amount of the MB.

have i mentioned my child does NOT like to take medicine? well to serve as reminder, big h does NOT like medicine.

we stopped to get some chocolate milk because he told us to keep him hydrated. i was so impressed because that was also the advice of dr. big mama. we got him home, and i instantly began bribing him. he got some miniature mr. potato heads (bought off ebay about a year ago) after the first big dose of torture, i mean, medicine. we watched madagascar and laid on the couch while baby napped. thankfully, a gift came from grandma ever so timely. a very cool space helmet. thank you, grandma. so he got that after the second round of trauma.

oh, and i should mention, big h was speechless, totally mute, the entire day. those of you with 3- and 4-year-old boys with any amount of energy should understand the magnitude of this. mute, people. meaning, not talking a word the entire day. some of you may think that would be heaven. not around these parts. we went for SO LONG without big h speaking that we LOVE that he never stops. we love it. it was so insanely quiet around here yesterday. even the goo kept looking at him for entertainment. and he just couldn't provide.

finally, around 5, i had to get out of the house so we went on a walk. big h didn't speak, and the goo just munched on some yogurt cheerios. thank you, Jesus, for some time alone with you.

round 4 of torture came at bedtime. he had his bath and his jammies on and he was going to get to watch madagascar again before bedtime. that is huge. normally, he takes his bath and we read stories. but he was going to get to watch a show before going to sleep and "stay up late." so in order to do that, medicine would have to be taken. no problem.

i am scarred for life.

oh, and did i mention that my daughter? the goo? CRAWLED FOR THE FIRST TIME YESTERDAY!!!!! right, so she's only 10 months old. but she did it. and as with big h, she accomplishes milestones in the midst of something else so that i can't be nearly as excited as i want to be.

case in point, the doorbell rang (even though the sign on the door says, "shhh...baby sleeping. please knock.") and it was this kid, probably 15 or so, conducting a survey of families in my area. would it be ok if he came in and spent 15 minutes of my time with me? sure, if you want to leave with sores in your mouth. i explained to him ever so sweetly that my children were sick and that he would probably leave here sick. and as i am doing so, i am looking over only to see my daughter on both knees. something i have never seen before. he's just trying to talk to me, and i didn't know how he wasn't getting the message that this mama simply was. not. listening.

finally, i see the goo move one knee in front of the other 4 times. 4 times! and then...

big h pummeled her to the ground.

because, you see, she was getting too close to his train track, which, by the way, takes up 1/2 of our living room.

so she is crying, and i say in my oh-so-stern voice (i think buz is secretly turned by this stern mommy voice), "big h, go sit on the couch. please go SIT ON THE COUCH." he has never done timeout so well, but for some reason it worked yesterday. thank you, Jesus. of course, it made him start to cry. so i have 2 crying children. and the 15-year-old is still there.

"you know, i would rather you not come in. it's just a hard time for us right now."

"oh, that's ok. we can just conduct this on the porch then."

naive soul that hasn't had children yet. one day. one day.

so i said in the nicest way possible, "GET THE HE-- OUTTA HERE!" ok, no i didn't. i just politely said, "honestly, i don't want to be rude but it is not a good time. i have a lot going on here, and it's just not a good time."

"ok, well, would tomorrow be better?"

seriously? are you kidding me?

frankly, i shut the door on him. i know. i couldn't help it. had to be done.

so big h and i had a talk about mauling over his sister and how that's not ok. and what would be a way to do that differently and better and sweeter?

his response? "ummm...not push her?"

remember. he's not talking. so in his raspiest, hoarsest voice, he informed me that the best decision would be to maybe not push her. good answer.

so buz and i finished the day. whew. put big h to bed. put the goo to bed. and now, it was time to finally rest. because big h woke up every hour on the hour the night before last. so we were pooped. the only way we would truly relax was to, of course, watched our DVR'd American Idol and eat hot tamales together. true love at its finest. we had to pause it several times due to the screaming going on in the toddler's room. but after several different moments of consoling, we were ready to watch the winner crowned. (FYI: i totally knew it would be jordin. from the VERY beginning. ask buz.) and then, this happened. and i had already turned off the computer. so we had to find out who won by looking at buz's blackberry. you realize how small these screens are, right? anticlimactic.

well, the medicine must have kicked in because big h only woke up 4 times. twice in one hour. and 2 more times but not for a long period of time. it was bliss.

until.

the goo is learning that the only way to get attention around here is do what brother does. so, she chose to wake up in the middle of the night for the first time in, oh, SIX MONTHS. and we are a cry-it-out family. say what you will. so we changed her diaper, put jammies back on, gave her a little mood music and put her back down. and she did cry it out. but she fell back asleep about 4am (about 15 minutes).

so to top everything off, our plumbing is having some "issues," shall we say. so buz stayed home today so that he can talk to the plumber and ask him how to repair our toilet that, you know, doesn't flush and all.

it can only get better, right?

and so... a recap in pictures. because i know you were on the edge of your seats.


to note: big h is wearing his "comfy" clothes, which are some OU scrubs. also, he is playing with the goo's toy. just didn't have it in him to play with toys for his own age. too much thought. (sorry, weentrab, i had to use the flash on this one too.)

we pulled out all the stops. the train track. the train blanket. the goo decided to pull out a TON of wipes right by the table. big h got out my running shoes because he's a fashion-conscious guy. they're dark red. and he was wearing dark red. that's my boy.

part of the goo's 3-part regimen here at the wisner neighborhood pharmacy

everyone's regimen, including the dr. pepper from the golden arches that buz got on his way home. major husband points scored at that very moment.

and so that no one would OD

no trip for us

quick post for us.

big h screaming in his room.

we have hand, foot, and mouth. we, meaning big h.

pray. he is in SO. MUCH. PAIN!!!

no trip back home for us tomorrow.

pray for sweet big h. and for the goo to NOT get it.

(have any of you had this before? if so, suggestions?)

knock knock. who's there?

me! us! (fyi: buz doesn't care for knock knock jokes, so i decided to use one to see if he was still reading.) where have i been, you, my mother-in-law and the other person who reads this, ask?

couldn't tell ya. trying to go to bed before freaking TWELVE O'CLOCK! that's for sure. geez. what is my freaking problem? it's that second wind, i tell you. the freaking second wind. (i just keep saying freaking. it's fun. say it. freaking, freaking, freaking.)

hmmm...one theme for tonight? nope. as always, lots of things on my mind.

1. big h no longer calls himself "ah-nee." he says, "hen-uh-ree." we're mourning the loss of one of the last "baby words" of big h. the last to go will be noh-nee (milk). he doesn't even call the goo "gree-ya" anymore. it's "guh-retta." (and it is spoken with a beautiful Spanish accent.)

2. big h has his last day of MDO on tuesday. another loss to mourn. i don't know who will be more sad -- mommy or big h.

3. had the school carnival today, and mommies got to come. i got a sitter for the goo. i really thought he would be so touched by my selfless act. you know, the one where i communicated my love for him by making this "our" day. and his response was, "why couldn't baby come? i missssssss her, mama." so much for my selfless act. speaking of carnival day. big h helped create a beautiful memory for me to cling to and record in the baby book. or right here on the internet. when i went to pick him this afternoon, i noticed a VERY uncoordinated outfit on little man. i'll be honest, i do my best to dress big h pretty snazzy when he goes to school. i mean, there are girls there, people. so he was in a lovely turquoise ocean-themed t-shirt that was ENTIRELY too small with some khaki shorts that i believe we were either a 5 (with no T at the end) or a size sold in the juniors' department. definitely no T at the end of the size of these shorts. or coolotts (i can't believe i don't know how to spell them), as i believe my mom would have referred to them. they informed me that at potty time (when all the children get a chance to go potty or at least make sure they have clean pants on right before the mommies come), they noticed a smell. a poop smell. they figured out it was coming from his direction. and lo and behold, there was the smell -- and the object -- on the floor. big h had already gone poop before time, didn't tell anyone, and was ready to take his pull up off. only, like a diaper. nice. so they had to move the entire class into the empty classroom next to theirs because they had the church janitor "professionally" clean the carpet. you know, because they were afraid the other kids were going to step in and make an even bigger mess. that's my boy.

anyway, the carnival.


yes, he's getting his face painted


ringing the bell, of course


the infamous "my best friend called CJ"


i despise the "say cheese" smile

4. the goo has started pulling up to things. and standing. not crawling, mind you. just pulling up and standing. and then falling and bonking her head. and crying. poor goo.

5. we had a really cute picture taken of the goo and big h. henry thought it was a piece of paper. and highlighted it. thank you, dear.



6. we dedicated sweet goo this past weekend. yes, mother's day. it was a wonderful day.


yes, there's really a bow in her hair

7. big h is really showing his intelligent side. he was trying to find something. diego-related. buz brought something to him that he thought was the missing object. "nope, that's the sloth." wait, what? so he brought something else. "no, dad. that's the tapir." right. we're idiots around here.

8. i'm sure you've been wondering if i'm ever going to show you my snazzy senior pictures. well, today is your day. i have been SO PUMPED about them. i think the mom likes them. but she has family in town and hasn't had time to really look at them. but they are photos from my first "real" session. weentrab was so proud. or so she said. i mean, don't you want to take him to your prom? or hire him for your modeling agency? (assuming you, the reader, have a modeling agency?)





9. next week is the week. going to visit my house for the last time. this is the house i grew up in. moved when i was in first grade. had sleepovers in. (actually, that's a lie. i was the dorky girl who didn't really like having sleepovers at her own house because it would get too loud. i know, i know -- bless my heart. someone from elementary school -- PLEASE post a comment here. confirming that i wasn't a total social outcast.) where i took tap, jazz, softball, and baton. yes, baton swirling. i was a vision of loveliness in my white long-sleeve yet very, very short dress, cuffed with silver sparkles, white boots, and white gloves. christmas parade and all. where casey frenchbraided my hair really, really tight before we would go catch the school bus. where i met kelly, my best friend, my equivalent to gulley. where i recovered from back surgery as an elementary school kid. twice. where i accepted the Lord. where i got ready for my junior prom with matt. what a dream of a boyfriend he was. now he is a husband and father to a very lucky girl. where i introduced buz to my father. where buz decided that i was the one. where i slept the night before i got married. anyway, you get it. this house has a lot of memories. so i am taking biscuit and her son, and we are making a road trip. one with kids. but it should be fun. having a playdate with two of my friends growing up and their children. surreal. and will probably take a lot of pictures of the house. because i'm like that.

10. big h is in his room right now asking for one of us. knocking on the door. needing assistance. and his two requests? one for more energy. he's just running out of energy and needs more. maybe he can have something from the kitchen to give him more energy? two for the opportunity to watch the movie where he could get his head in the game. (i.e. high school musical) he's only watched that part of the movie over at his cousin's. but he LOVES that song. i think the kid has rhythm. and i love it. but i don't believe we will be able to oblige either request. sorry, little man. but A+ for creativity.

11. i'm very, very sorry to those of you out there who were/are sad about melinda going home last night. i've been pro-jordin this entire journey. and buz is VERY pro-blake. in fact, i received my very own voicemail from blake on my cell. beat-boxing his love to me. it was great. so boomama, my condolences.

12. c'mon tessa, the social worker. buz and i are pulling for you next week. even though, we realize that statistically you two won't stay together anyway. speaking of, anyone know the current status on charlie and sarah b? you know, sarah b and i worked at the same hospital. i'm cool like that.

13. thank you to the producers of the office. the last 5 minutes had me all giddy. notice the word had.

14. until i watched grey's anatomy. for those of you who watch it but have not watched it yet, please do not read ahead.

I AM SO ANGRY AT MY TELEVISION!

there. that's all i had to say about that.

so i think that's it. oh, i forgot. to tell you what i'm listening to on the ipod right now. shape of my heart by the backstreet boys. and in case you're wondering, kevin is my favorite. buz gets jealous of my teenage girl crush. but to let you in on how much this guy loves me. he took me to a backstreet boys concert when we were "just friends." (the "just friends" saga could be a post in itself.)




sometimes i just want to eat them both up...

i've put it off long enough

well, way to go, buz. you've managed to stop me in my tracks. at this point, i am completely unsuccessful at composing anything. no witty response. nothing tender. nothing at all. nice.

to all you new buz fans -- yes, he is like this all the time. but don't think i didn't prompt him to write some of those. he was coming home from a business trip in late march. he was stuck in the airport for what seemed like forever. he had read most of his man reads (entertainment weekly; football, football, and more football; playstation hints for all games sports-related; and NFL today), eaten all the snacks he could stomach, and played enough solitaire on his blackberry to know the hidden secret behind the game. so when he was talking to me on the phone one of 24 times, he said, "honestly, i don't know what else to do. i have literally done everything i can think of." and i thought that the most obvious choice would be to write me a love letter.

because that is, after all, my love language.

so he did.

and yes, i printed it out, and it is now in my diaper bag. the most logical place for it. the one item i carry everywhere, right?

my first thought was to write something back to him. but that is not his thing. because i'm such a good wife, i know his love language. and his love language is NOT cute little notes of encouragement left in cute little hidden places to find only at cute little unexpected times.

i wish it was. but it's not.

it's acts of service. darn you, buz. couldn't you have picked another one? acts of service. we're talking cooking dinner, having a clean house, those june cleaver things. that's what makes his toes tingle. *big sigh*

oh, and those things, by the way, are very hard to publicize. buz can secretly get into my blog and profess his love for me throughout the internet, and i get 53 freaking comments (thank you, boomama). you know what would happen if i decided to do the same?

so today, i cooked a mean mexican casserole for buz. and i vacuumed and swept. i had candles lit when he walked in the door. both children were playing quietly in the living room, while reciting the bible verses they learned at church this morning. the sheets were folded down with a mint on his pillow. i cleaned his car, inside and out, while he was sleeping. there was not a single dish out of place in the kitchen. no streaks on the mirrors or windows. oh, and no hint of a poop smell anywhere in the house.

i know what are you thinking? that i have an ego problem. RIGHT!

and buz secretly posts and everyone, including me, of course, swoons.

so why did i get the love language of words of encouragement and he got acts of service???

ok, so i'm a little dramatic. i realize this.

anyhoo...the neat part about all of this is that my sweet buz got nationally recognized. buz is one of those guys who will forever fly under the radar. and that is what attracted me to him.

now, i could comment on some of the things he loves about me, but my face would just turn red, and i would get embarrassed. so i won't. but rest assured -- almost all of them have stories associated with them. perhaps stories that i will post later.

you did it, buz. you finally got some credit for who you are. and i love that.

in other news...

• my parents are home from italy. and word is my mom purchased a handbag. for me. praise be to the Lord.
• while we're on the subject of my parents...um, yeah. their house sold while they were in italy. let me say this in a different way. the only house that i have memory of was sold.
• and what that means. my parents are moving here!!! about 45 minutes away! and it's going to be a lot sooner than i thought.
• got to see miss georgia again. is there a more beautiful combination than babies and handbags?


• sunday night was belated birthday celebration for weentrab. and to inform you just how fun she is. we had dinner and headed out for a shopping spree. yeah, i know how to live it up. the condition for the spree was that she had $30 that she had to spend that night, while we were there. and it could not be spent on practical stuff. (i.e. no tweezers, batteries, toilet paper, etc.) so we (i say we because c'mon, would it really be fun to spend $$ by yourself?) each bought 2 pairs of shoes. now that is how to spend a sunday night. thanks, weentrab. have i mentioned that i love being pals with you?

and well, that's all i have. oh! and soon to be posted. some samples of my first "real" photography session? can't post until he and his parents see them. but just know -- i wouldn't doubt that this high school senior will be a force to be reckoned with in the ladies' department. stay tuned. (weentrab, you're so impressed, huh?)

What I love about my wife

(written in Minneapolis airport terminal)

I love the smell of her hair when she takes a shower at night

I love that she has three pairs of red shoes

I love that her car is a complete mess and she denies it

I love when she makes a late night run to Sonic for a 44 oz.

I love that she has a jeep key chain

I love that she knows who she is

I love that she never reacts out of spite towards another

I love that she hates when I use her deodorant

I love that she forgives those who hurt her feelings

I love that she tears out pages and pages of her Real Simple

I love that she dresses our daughter in pink

I love that she doesn’t wear pink herself

I love that Henry challenges her to be a better Mom

I love that her bible has a matching carrying case

I love that she leaves her bracelets on her gear shift or on the kitchen counter

I love that she never wants to run out of gas

I love her little toe socks

I love her champagne taste

I love when she can’t make a decision about big purchases

I love that she still has BIC pens from college in baggies

I love that her signature pose is to smile with all of her teeth showing and her jaw shut

I love that her real smile is completely different

I love that she is a picker

I love that there are no short stories

I love that no question is ever answered with a yes or no

I love her secret moo moo

I love that she puts peanut butter on her pancakes

I love that I’ve never seen her drink a glass of milk

I love that has blog friends called big momma and boo momma

I love that I now need an emery board when I clip my own nails

I love that she only cleans the house when Sarah is coming over

I love that I have more than three pairs of shoes

I love that she is into Pepperidge farms logs

I love that there is no such thing as a quick errand

I love that she introduced me to Fernando and Third Day

I love that she understands my connection to Bebo

I love that somehow Nordstroms is the only shoe store that has her size

I love that she didn’t want to buy a white car

I love that she took Pat diet coke with lemon and white popcorn every day

I love that I can laugh with her every night

I love that she always calls somebody on both their cell and home phone

I love that she tells them she is going to do that

I love that she does Henry’s puzzles

I love that she helped me with the last 10 pieces of my puzzle

I love that she has never had poison ivy

I love that most of my bachelor possessions are gone

I love that we keep the house at 73 degrees all year

I love that she thinks puffy coats are “in” for anybody over 25

I love that she picks Planters sunflower seeds over Davids

I love that Buz has no origin or reference

I love that most of my gifts get returned for something cheaper

I love her rebel earring

I love that she can’t have a baby without becoming constipated

I love her yellow delivery robe

I love that she will smile when she reads PAT BOOKER

I love how quickly she can enter a voicemail box

I love that she types faster than me

I love that Goo is not Henry for her

I love when she crawls in bed after I’ve already fallen asleep

I love when that wakes me up

I love that she wore scarves

I love that she knows about Kuby’s

I love that she and Henry go and see if Stanley (the mailman) came

I love that our weekends never go the way I think they will

I love that I’ve never seen her drunk

I love that each of her friends would want her as a pall bearer

I love that all her recipes require lots of melted cheese

I love that somehow we’re never out of shredded cheese

I love that she vacuums the tile/laminate rather than sweep

I love that she will second guess a lot of these things that make her so unique

I love that she is my wife and my lover

I love that she knows the Lord

love, Buz

just a regular 'ol wednesday around here

we go to bible study at our church on wednesday mornings. fun is had by all every week. the goo gets fed, loved on, and put to sleep for some beauty rest.big h has been described as "a ham" in the chapel time of the morning. and his teachers talk lightning mcqueen (yighteen ah-keen) and mater mater with him, so they have been invited into his core inner circle. and mommy. well, she gets TWO uninterrupted hours with women. i sip on a beverage of my choice, enjoying a morning treat of my choice. and marvel at the intelligent adult interaction that is occurring around me.

not today.

buz and i had other plans for the day. or i should say God had different plans for us. because we definitely did NOT plan this one.

i woke from a deep sleep at 4:00 this morning. before i go any further, let the record state that i am ONE DEEP sleeper. buz used to get very frustrated with me when both big h and the goo were infants and i was nursing because he had to wake me when they started crying in the middle of the night. sign of a bad parent? i don't think so. i just value my sleep. i love. to. sleep. anyway, woke up needing to use the restroom with quite a bit of urgency. after galloping to the restroom, i came to the realization that i did NOT feel too well. note the understatement. buz woke up asking if i was ok. to play the martyr, "oh yeah, i am fine." and then i was doubled over. now, i am confident in my pain tolerance. buz gave me the nickname "hoss" (so ladylike) during our labor with big h because i labored without ever having an epidural. (weentrab, don't even start. i know, i know. you went natural. you are and will remain my hero.) anyway, to see me on my knees facing the porcelain throne at 4:30 a.m. was a big deal. buz made the executive decision to call his brother and his wife (who live all of 5 minutes away) to have one of them come over. buz felt like we needed to go to the ER. lucky for both of us, neither of us are afraid of hospitals. buz has always worked in a hospital, and i worked in one prior to having big h. so my sister-in-law got to our house within 10 minutes, literally. and we headed over to the local (in-network) ER. gowned up and got ready for my urine sample, catheterization, IV, and CT scan. nice. kidney stones, people. this is NOT enjoyable. i repeat. NOT fun at all. so after 2 hours and an encounter with a VERY WEIRD ER doc, we received my Rx and we were out the door with orders to go home to rest. any stay at home moms out there? go home and rest? is that a joke? yeah, maybe with a overpriced babysitter and a hotel room. but reality. nope. so buz took big h to run some errands, and i napped while the goo napped. and life is back to normal now. i am just armed with some potent pain meds if and when the need arises.

just a regular 'ol wednesday around here.

drawing a blank

i mean, for the life of me, i cannot think of anything to say these days. i have had access to the internet. my husband is in town. i am not sick. the goo is better. i've gone through my list of excuses. creativity is gone. gone. i wish i had a story. or a beginning of one that i could slightly embellish.

so, as sad as it is, here is a list of things on my mind right now -- as my spouse has drifted off to sleep, and it isn't even 10:00 yet.

• if i had an anger management counselor, i would have called him/her today. so as to not HARM my son. please don't leave here ready to call CPS. just one of those days. however, we have had a lot of those these days. (big sigh)
• big h is currently fascinated with flatulence. "mama, i just went tooted. it's because i have so much gas. toots make my bottom feel so much better. do they make your bottom feel better too?"
• big h sleeps with a life size doll at night right now. people, this thing is not to be reckoned with. to say it is big would be an understatement. a couple of weeks ago, he started acting scared at night when we would say good night. he would continually ask us if we would sleep with him. big h is one of those kids where if you start something, you better prepared for it to become set in stone. and i am not ready to start sleeping on a bottom bunk. so we always tell him that Jesus says "don't be afraid." but one night, he said, "but i can't lay on Jesus." couldn't argue with him there. so i asked if he would like to buy a big pillow. i thought it was a perfect idea. and i had a body pillow from when i was pregnant, who was named big bill, after a very random dream. don't ask. big h did NOT want big bill to sleep with him. so we went to look at big pillows, and he found "big diego." i know the website has the dimensions, but i promise you he almost doesn't fit in the bed. not to mention scaring me every morning after big h is already up and about, and i walk by his room and see this massive creature under the covers. in all honesty, it's pretty cute. he wants diego to be tucked in at night. he wants to pray for ah-nee, gree-ya, mommy, daddy, and big tee-ay-go. he's like a part of our family.
• would like to thank the manager of our local grocery store. after picking big h from school, we headed to the store to pick up bananas and bread and yellow cheese and do-der-munt for daddy "because his arms smell." when we were preparing to check out, i glanced out the window only to see the darkest clouds i have ever seen, and more rain than i could comprehend. oh. my. i asked the manager woman at the store if they had any umbrellas i could borrow. i know this is going to sound dorky, but i felt this weird peace about her. she was so sincere. and her suggestion was for me to run to my car that was parked in the 2nd parking space and back up to the fire lane to load my groceries and children. and she would stay with them right under the over hang. i know what you are thinking. "are you freaking NUTS?" probably. but i just felt good about the whole thing. the best was when i was getting big h out of the race car cart, he said, "bye linda. see you later. tanks for watching my mom get rained on." who knows -- linda may become one of our favorite new people. thanks, linda.
• what i'm listening to on the ipod: you light up my life by debby boone. (aren't you starting to figure out just how cool i really am?)
• my bff had her baby this weekend. georgia, the goo is ready to be insta-friends with you.

• this weekend, i am going on a hot date. not with buz. with a smaller version of buz. we're going to see thomas live at a local theater. theater, you ask? yes. and no, i have no idea what it's actually going to be. but it's thomas. pretty sure it will not disappoint. and don't mind me -- i will be the only girl going. we are going with the pattison boys. we went to the wiggles concert together too. no, it's not weird. i just YEARN for some solo big h time. i love the goo so much, but i have some MAJOR guilt issues these days about not getting to spend the time with big h that i want to.
• big h, the goo, and i didn't have anything to do yesterday. so big h and i played while the goo took her nap. when she woke up, i promised big h anything he wanted for lunch. without any hesitation, "chips and cheese, please, from the tortilla fackory." so we made a run for the border. any of you weight watcher folks out there? i'm pretty sure that if you eat at taco bell, you can't anything for the next 3 days. but wow, it was a little slice of heaven right here on earth. and apparently, everyone else in the metroplex had the same idea. because big h proceeded to say at the TOP of his lungs, "EVERYONE MUST LOVE CHIPS AND CHEESE AND CIMMONUN CRUNCHIES TOO, MAMA!!!! YOOK HOW MANY PEOPLE LOVE CHIPS AND CHEESE AND CIMMONUN CRUNCHIES, MAMA!!!"
• the goo fell today. and got herself a LOVELY goose egg. we went to her 9-month check up this morning and got to see dr. g. sidenote: we LOVE dr. g. he walked in today and immediately sat down and began telling us (you know...the goo and me) about how he's feeling better and that he's had the upper respiratory stuff going on. is it strange to want to invite your pediatrician and his family over for dinner? probably. i digress. anyway, this afternoon, i was in the middle of reading big h the riot act, when the goo just fell over and scraped her forehead on one of big h's elmo cars. kind of a big scratch. and a BIG noggin. i mean, the poor girl. she's been doomed lately.
• the goo and big h may get to see uncle bob on thursday. he has a layover here, and we are going to try to spend the whopping 3 hours with him. hey, 3 hours to us is more than nothing. i won't tell big h until i know it will happen. crushing a little boy's spirit is almost too much for me to handle.
• got an email from one of my roommates in college. jill...let it be known that your email made my whole day. and that's saying a LOT!

so, i have successfully taken up a LOT of your time. really sorry. sometimes it just feels good to get things "out." now, go on about your merry way. thanks for stopping by.

two words

praise. Jesus.

buz called this evening on his way home and asked me what i was doing. to which i replied, "taking pictures of the goo."

"doing what?"

"smiling."

let me state for the record how much i love that she has enough hair to have bed head.

my baby is back.

she has had THREE bottles of formula. pedialyte-diluted lactose-free formula. but "milk" nonetheless. she took a FOUR HOUR NAP. big h took a 2 1/2 hour nap. guess what mom did?

napped with him. i couldn't pass up the opportunity. i just couldn't. so while my baby rested from her tough 5 days and began the recuperation process in nighty-night land, i snuggled with the boy who doesn't want me within 10 feet most days lately. bliss.

tomorrow is a new day. and because the goo is finally on the road to recovery, i believe i am going to shower. and finally shed my ski breckenridge hand-me-down t-shirt from my brother circa 1989 and my brown yoga pants. and clean this nasty head of hair.

tomorrow is a new day.

and franklin...for your viewing pleasure. the monstrosity that has become our living room. (yes, big h is wearing his lovely and HOT elmo costume. never ceases to amaze me.)

2 comments. what magazine is my son posing for? and why on God's green earth does it look like he's wearing a shade of mauve on those lips?

well, i'm not to going to post anymore until the goo is well. we are so sad for her. i took big h to get sicken nuggets today (again). on the way there, i said, "you know what, big h? i am really sad for the goo. she is still so sick, huh?"

"yeah, we need to pray por her."

and so we did. i love that kid. he had some meltdowns today. but honestly, i have had some meltdowns in the past couple of days too, so i cut him a little slack.

somehow dad had enough steam to blow up the spider man bed. pictures to come at a later date. fun was had by big h.

today was, by far, the goo's worst day. she threw up this morning, and buz and i had had it. so i took her in on saturday hours (8-12) to see dr. g, who just happened to be on this morning. halle-loo-yuh!!!!!

no fever. still just feels like it's a virus that is taking its sweet, precious time. she has been miserable all day. honestly, buz and i felt like we were just wasting time until either the next teaspoon of pedialyte or her next nap. and her naps were awful because she just couldn't ever get comfortable. we literally didn't find a THING that made her happy or content. until right before bath time, and the God above bestowed His love upon me in a sweet, sweet moment. buz and big h had run an errand, and i had all of the goo's clothes off, ready to put her in the bath. all of the sudden, she buried her head into the pocket of my armpit and was just quiet. her first time all day to be truly quiet. and she rested there for about 5 minutes. and i just cried and cried. i love this kid so much it hurt today.

so, you can see why i'm not going to post again until she is well. or better. because you will hold it against me that your kleenex box is empty.

pray for my sweet goo.

must. get. better.

first of all, bff, let the record state that i am the world's best friend for cancelling on you today. trust me -- you do NOT want what the goo has.

and biscuit, same goes for you.

again...nothing interesting or entertaining. just informing those who have been praying for my sweet baby. as well as blowing off some "couped up in a house for 2 days" steam.

the goo. she is still not well. i do have to be honest, i don't know which call back nurse to listen to. no offense to those nurses out there. i've gotten everything from "don't give her any formula for at least 2 days" to "go ahead and give her a little food if she's tolerating so much pedialyte" to "try just a little formula if she's tolerating enough pedialyte in a bottle" to "don't do anything for 16 days." (ok, that last one was made up by me and certainly NOT true.)

she's only thrown up once today. but has taken 2 INSANELY LONG naps. you may be thinking i should be so grateful. not when fun goo doesn't have her A-game on. it is so pitiful. she has no energy. she didn't even want to be in her "walking seat." (that's what big h calls her exersaucer.) she also had diar----several times as well.

let's just say that the washer and dryer are going to sleep well tonight. they have had a long day.
and my little man. seriously. he has been a little MAN today. so incredibly helpful, i cannot even begin to describe. finally, after the goo's LONG morning nap, i/we HAD to get out. so we drove through wendy's for sickin nuggets and brown no-nee. and as a surprise to him, i dropped by blockbuster to get him a movie or six. ok, really just two. you wouldn't believe how much television my 3 1/2-year-old watched today. and yet, it was totally mom-initiated. and i had no reservations about it whatsoever.

we decided to make it like a daytime sleepover. we opened up the spiderman blow up bed (which did not get used because it was going to take about 116 hours to blow up, even with the handy pump). we did puzzles. lots and lots of puzzles. we played a LOT with things that have wheels. we made up stories. we had snacks. we listened to music. it was so much fun.

i just wish the goo was in on it.

if only i looked this good while sick and with no clothes on. (this was taken yesterday. i couldn't bear to take any today. she was so sad ALL DAY.)


and i refuse to end on such a bad note, i will leave you with some easter pictures.



you probably can't see that my husband -- ultra conservative dresser that he is -- has on seersucker pants.




of course, we had to bring our props outside.








couldn't get enough of the fact that my kid who has very bazaar issues with clothes and shoes has on a BELT. a plaid one, nonetheless.



going through the loot.



see...this is what she looks like happy.




our sad attempt at a family easter picture. the tripod can't make the goo look in its direction. such is life. (and to my mom: no, i did NOT wear jeans to church on easter sunday.)

been a while, huh?

this is more for the grandparents. this is probably one post you can skip through because there is nothing funny or slightly entertaining. just the hard facts, people.

(big sigh)

this will only take a second.

the goo. well, she's just still not herself. last wednesday, she had two ear infections. last night, she threw up. now, i realize that people who read this little piece of the internet are not all mommies, so i will refrain from going into full detail. oh, but i SO want to.

she threw up 4 times around six last night and was just about as pitiful as they come. we had to put her down last night without anything. no bottle. just a teaspoon of pedialyte. wouldn't surprise me if she was thinking, "yeah, um, just knock me out. i can't handle this no warm beverage at night thing." it was so incredibly sad. and somehow i was the one who got the honor? never sure how that works. but in buz's defense, i was done in a matter of minutes, and he had a LONG way to go before he got to relax.

anyhoo. after talking to the on-call nurse several times, we came to the conclusion that we could give her milk after at least 8 hours of no vomiting. she seemed to think that the goo would sleep pretty well. and she was right. woke up at 6. fed her about 4 ounces of a bottle. then, she was doing ok, so i gave her a tsp of pedialyte. and after receiving my medical degree from Internet U, i declared it ok to give her ONE cheerio. this was NOT my finest act of motherhood. definitely would've had my license revoked.

rats! i had to start the whole thing over again. the one tsp of pedialyte every 5-10 minutes. for those of you who have experienced this, it makes for THE LONGEST day. and she never really got satisfied. we went on a walk, and she slept. she took three naps. poor goo. finally around 4:30, the nurse had called back to tell me that it would be ok to give her some pedialyte in a bottle. 2 ounces or so. we did. she loved it. she also said we could give her a little formula. she did NOT, however, love that so much.

idiot.

so again...back to square one. big h proceeded to tell every living soul at school that "baby greeya was not feeling well and she kept pitting up all of her orange carrots." and i was nervous about sharing too much information.

she is asleep. we were told not to give her any more milk products until at LEAST tomorrow night. :( so it's pedialyte for now.

poor goo.

oh, and it's sad enough that i can't think of a single funny big h story, other than him being adamant about me "not eating my toes, mama. toes are NOT! FOR! EATING!"

taken hostage

by the potty training demons, that is.

i really and truly thought i would be writing a beautifully uplifting story about how my child LOVES underwear and wants to embrace his new manhood by saying, "out with the old and in with the new."

or not.

people have failed to mention the potty training devil that is unleashed.

seriously. what happened to my big h?

tuesday was a good afternoon. but wednesday. heaven help us. headed to church for a little bible study. left church wanting to swear. the irony is too much. he had an "accident" in the nursery. funny because big h doesn't really get what the whole "accident" word means yet. he pooped in his go diego go underwear, and one of the church nursery rules is that they don't change poopy underwear accidents. don't blame 'em. so for the first time in three and a half years, i was paged to the nursery. i thought that he would have a hard time with me in his class in the middle of the class. nope. "hey mommy, i went poo poo in my pants." done. back to bible study. get big h and head to the infant class, where the teachers inform that the goo is "just not herself today." funny, i had been thinking the same thing for 2 or 3 days. made an appt for that same afternoon.

oh right. back to potty training. get home from bible study to have a 30-minute lunch. get back in the car and head to dr. g's. get back to the exam room before having the goo weighed and sniff, sniff. please, please let that be the goo. nope again. "big h, did you go poo poo in your pants?" "yes."

so the goo gets put back in her stroller so that i can survey the scene. oh people. without going into detail (which i desperately want to do to accurately describe my selfless act of motherhood, but i won't), poop was literally everywhere. so after using an entire box of wipes, which i randomly had in my diaper bag, dr. g walks in only to find the goo with not one, but TWO ear infections. guess that's why she hasn't been herself lately. homegirl is such a trooper.

we headed home, and the whining began. oh. the whining. i found myself wanting to say things to him that i never would have thought i would want to say. but rest assured, i didn't.

but believe you me, by the time buz got home, i had my bags packed, and i handed both kids over to him and grabbed my keys. i couldn't take it anymore.

took him to school yesterday morning in some nemo underwear. his choice. poop accident at school. if he has one more poop accident in his underwear he will have to wear diapers to school until the end of the year. no pressure.

i just thought i was against pull ups.

yesterday was actually worse than wednesday. even buz was frustrated. that is big.

so we decided to put both of them down early by about an hour. or six.

today, i said, is going to be a new day. we get to the mall to play with bff and wes. and i was secretly crossing my fingers and having constant conversation with God to please, please keep the potty training demons away this morning.

sometimes God answers our prayers in ways we don't understand. this morning was one of those times.

oh poor bff. she was giving me that "i am so sad for you but SOOOOOOOO thankful it's your kid and not mine" look. i lost count of the times she asked "what can i do for you?" i wanted to tell her in all seriousness, "just find a stick." but i thought that might be inappropriate. i just let big h know that there would be conversation in the car and it wouldn't be fun conversation. there would probably also be conversation at home, at dinner, at bathtime, at bedtime, at storytime, and at talk to jesus time. definitely at talk to jesus time.

little man and the goo both did great at the good friday service this afternoon. and i was so moved by our service that for that hour, i was able to focus on what i wanted to set my mind on today.

so all is *better* around here. we have a new approach. a more laid back approach. a don't stress out big h approach. a we'll be fine if you get your learner's permit in your pampers approach. whatever floats your boat, big man.

just a few pictures to share.

imagine the crash after this.

i've told of big h's interest in dressing up. work it, big h. own it.

this is his idea of "parking the cars" at night. (they are hanging in his bed rail.)

i'm thinking he needs just one more toy.

sweet goo, preparing for spring.

an easter miracle for winter janet. high for tomorrow: 43. easter high: 52.

we shall see

so tonight we began a journey of sorts. or so we've heard.

we started this journey some time ago, but it lost its lustre. so we're at it again. in full force.

pray for us.

potty training with a vengeance.

i had a talk with my brother and sister-in-law last night. just to get some encouragement. and my brother's comment was, "dude, your kid's three and a half and he's still in a diaper?" ahhh...nothing like a little sibling love. my sweet sister-in-law proceeded to apologize on his behalf and offer more helpful suggestions and potential solutions. but that comment haunted me the rest of the night. buz and i talked about it and decided we would start on friday. good friday. fitting, right?

however, we headed to wal-mart for some milk and "gree-ya no-nee" (translation: formula). i told him repeatedly that we were not going to buy anything. sad when you have to reiterate that comment so many times. he asked if we could look at trains. "sure. but we are NOT going to buy any trains." he is not into games, but he found the game aisle appealing today. chutes and ladders, which we have but he doesn't understand how to play yet. hungry hungry hippos, but really he just liked the name of that. i was trying to explain all the things you learn by playing these certain games. "that game teaches how to count to 10. that game teaches us how to spell with our letters from a to z." (i know. i'm a barrel of monkeys. everyone wants to play with me.) we were so interested in what these games would teach us. until...

we saw a go diego go "game." mind you, this "game" was packaged in a "rescue pack." (if you do not have a toddler who has ever watched noggin, you can go to someone else's blog or some other website because none of this will be of interest to you.) basically, it is an orange glorified backpack that contained about 10 different games. card games, bingo, dominoes, etc. i will be honest, if i thought he would really be interested in the games, i would be thrilled about this pack. however, the guy really only cares about the fact that he can wear it and look like diego and save the pygmy marmosets and red eyed tree frogs. after i said no several times, he started to be really, really sad and said to me, "but mama, this game will teach me lots of things." genius. pure genius.

i was kind of frustrated. but even more so, i wanted to get the goo home for a nap. she was starting to fade on me. so out of my mouth comes, "that's fine. you can get that game. but we go home and put on underwear. and other than nighttime, we aren't going to wear diapers anymore, ok?" he said ok, and i thought to myself, "what the heck did i just do? i LIKE my kid wearing diapers. it's easy." but i had said it. and there was nothing i could do about it.

so we talked on the way home about why he got the rescue pack. i wanted him to make sure he knew that this was big. HUGE.

so we got home and put the potty in the living room. for convenience. and we had bought diego underwear. i know this will be fleeting, but i'm not sure there is anything cuter than the tush of big h in big boy underwear. i LOVE it. so he went. he had one accident. and he told buz about it. it was right before bath time, and he had just finished his breathing treatment. and dad forgot to ask before he started the treatment. so technically, i think i can say that he did a great job today. poor church workers tomorrow. poor preschool teachers on thursday. we'll see. he may just surprise the heck out of us.

but there's no turning back. underwear is here to stay.

not quite the hollywood reunion i was imagining

the final update. it is 11:21 on thursday night, and buz is on his way home. and i am writing about it which means i am not with him. neither is big h.

when you have small children, your television never gets turned on to the local news. really for any reason. i am so far removed from current events, other than the really important issues. like what sanjaya's hair looked like 2 nights ago. like how izzy and george are going to keep their little secret from callie. like what family member of jack bauer's will turn up evil next.

so apparently, my city was having MAJOR thunderstorms. i promise, it was not raining here. clouds. no rain.

but buz insisted that there was a tornado warning. "have you looked outside? seriously, they are saying that you guys are getting so much rain and that you might need to seek shelter." clouds. but no rain.

flight supposed to leave between 4:30 and 5. sitter coming at 6. big h and i leaving at 6 in our jammies to get dinner and daddy. arriving at 8. home by 8:30 or 8:45.

he calls me around noon. flights being cancelled left and right. due to this tornado warning that i was oblivious to.

continues to call me the majority of the day. "i think we're coming. i don't think we'll get cancelled."

sitter gets here promptly at 6. i basically do everything with the goo since i'm here and all. big h totally shows off for "mommy's friend."

i feed the goo and put her to sleep while big h proceeds to tell babysitter that she can't play with his toys. nice.

after multiple conversations with buz, i decide that i will take big h out to dinner and bring him back home, put him to bed, and i will head to the airport by myself. not quite how i envisioned it. but i still get to run a long distance into my sweetie's arms and be twirled off my feet. just like the movies.

so big h and i get ready for our date. he gets dressed up in his finest jammies. and we head for the nicest restaurant in town. honestly, we had the best time. we were the only ones there. because you know, there was a tornado watch in effect. we danced to the music. we had hot dogs and french fries and dr pepper. well, i had the dr pepper. he went with water. then, we split some vanilla ice cream. we had a ball together.

came home and he wanted babysitter to read him stories. put him to sleep, and i headed immediately to the car to pick up my handsome prince.

hmmm...it's raining. go figure.

i check the automated gate arrival phone line the entire way there. flight #1629 is estimated to arrive at 10:17 at gate C11, baggage claim C12. i sit there patiently reading my magazine. and then, for some reason, i had this feeling that i needed to check the gate one more time, just to make sure. "flight #1629 is estimated to arrive at TEN FORTY-THREE at gate C11, baggage claim C12."

wait, what?

here is where i had to draw the line. i had to respect my sweet sitter. she has the "can't drive past midnight" curfew on her license. and really...would i want my daughter out past midnight? especially a school night?

so i got in the car and headed home. i was halfway home when i got buz's call saying they had just landed. i was halfway home but halfway to the airport, depending on how you looked at it.

i just couldn't do it. i had to get home to get babysitter home.

so all that, just to have him take a cab home tonight.

buz, i can't wait to hug you.



HARK, i think i hear foot steps.

a pit in my stomach

say it isn't so.

buz just called (12 noon) and said that flights to our city are being canceled. ok, so i just head on over to weather.com, and i don't see anything. i mean, it's sprinkling, and there is a chance of rain. but are you kidding me?

so...i have a dilemma. i am really pumped about our babysitter. i have never used her, and she is the stepdaughter of a close friend of mine. she sounds like an absolute dream.

if buz doesn't come home tonight (for the love of all that's good), can i go ahead and use her tonight for the goo and take big h to a movie or out for something fun for dinner?

and then put him to sleep and wallow in my self-pity (of course, with a really big dr. pepper and perhaps some buffalo wing flavored pretzels)? (those with more than 2 children or whose husbands regularly travel, please disregard previous comment.)

day 3 of single parenthood

well, i am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

(this post has the potential for being really boring. so feel free to skim. consider it a cliffnotes version of our day.)

all i want to do is inform one certain party (who happens to be in a northern state right now), eat the rest of my dinner (yes, it's 9:45), and lay in bed and watch and rewatch american idol from last night. and just marvel at what was done to that boy's hair.

and why in the FREE WORLD he did not go home?

anyway. the recap of the day is going to be speedy quick.

first of all, the goo did NOT sleep last night. every time i turned on the monitor, there she was -- awake like it was 9:30 in the morning. translation: mommy didn't sleep.

somehow managed to get both of my kids to (different) sitters this morning by 9:30 so that i could go *help* weentrab with a photo shoot. help? please. social companion is more like it. she is so big time. (she does not pay me to give her a big head.) i will wait until she reveals her project before i go blabbing about it. bottom line, i hold a mean reflector. and i can straighten clothing with the best of them. and i didn't even have to get her starbucks. i could have and would have, had i gotten there any earlier. in fact, she bought me lunch. what?

went to get big h who let me know that he "meesed" me. love the guy.

got the goo. the report from master sitter, davis, was that "she just doesn't feel well." so sad. she didn't get to have super fun goo goo. breathing treatment, bulb syringe, you name it. that is true friendship, people.

came home, and it was just a tough afternoon for everyone involved. i did NOT want to leave the house, but i realized that i hadn't been to the store to get groceries in a while. so i did what any perfect susie homemaker would do. i called pizza hut. it was a hit with the whole family. even the goo gnawed on the crust.

got her bathed and to bed. got big h bathed, HAIR WASHED, and to bed. and he wanted to "mama, make sure you sank zesus for daddy. he's coming home soon, huh?" oh, little man, you have no idea what you're in for tomorrow night.

speaking of tomorrow night, i decided that i would surprise big h with a trip to the airport to pick up daddy. i realize that now you can basically pull to a slow crawl at the entrance of the airport and hope that your waiting party is ready to jump in your car without it ever stopping. but don't think we're not going to take advantage of the "daddy business trip." they rarely happen, so we're making the most of it. i got a sitter to put the goo down. and big h and i are going to get on our jammies, head out towards the airport, eat somewhere fun on the way, and then pick up daddy. buz knows about it, but big h doesn't. airplanes and his best friend. he might pass out. i'll take a paper bag, just in case.

and that's it. tomorrow, the goo and i have big h's parent/teacher conference. is he old enough for one of these? :) last year, it was so much fun to have someone talk about my little man and all of the things he has accomplished and all that they were looking forward to seeing him work on and tackle.

more medicine for the goo. so send your prayers this way. she is a mess.

we love you, buz, and we cannot wait to see you and hug you and love on you tomorrow!