life with the wisners

i would love to say that the reason i haven't been around is because i have been away on vacation at some exotic resort with my spouse, laying by the pool, napping. lots and lots of napping.

(snapping)

back to reality.

and because i love me a nice set of bullet points, you won't mind if i shoot off a couple of things on my mind, will you?

• had my usual monday night "off." went to gymboree to spend a gift card. let me digress for a moment. i love gift cards. i mean, LOVE them. i love spending what i like to call "free money." so the other day, i was all set to head over to one of my favorite places and spend a little gift card money. i let big h look around. spent enough time in the store to familiarize myself with every. item. in. the. store. seriously. so i was ready to check out. the three lovely ladies at the ripe old age of 20 (i would have thought 13 if it were legal) were discussing boyfriends and halter tops and ohmygahilovelattes! heaven forbid they had to assist this old hag with her purchase because it's, you know, their job and all. well, i put my three items on the counter. she (one of the 3 yuppy bobsy twins) rings everything up and starts laughing uncontrollably at a decibel i thought only big h could hit. apparently i was not in on the joke. she looks at her friends, candy and barbie, and says, "this lady is so trying to use a merchandise voucher that, like, um, expired like twenty-seven years ago." and they all laughed. it was a perfect scene left out of the movie mean girls. i was so happy to be the butt of their jokes. honestly, i have no idea how idea how old the credit was, but i know it wasn't more than a year because i got it right around the time goo was born. so i broke up the party by saying, "oh silly me. thanks for everything." and i left. and don't think i didn't want to cry. it was like watching $48.13 literally be flushed down the toilet. heart wrenching. so i checked the back of the card, and sure enough...it expired after twelve months of non-use. what????? so i was a girl on a mission. i set myself a goal. i was determined to use every one of my gift cards/merchandise credits within two weeks. so i headed to gymboree today to spend me some money. i like gymboree. it's a nice store. i just don't go in very often. i don't have a problem telling you that this was the hardest $30 i have ever spent. apparently, gymboree likes to have themes. and let's just say that if goo were into the nautical theme or horses, we would have had a hay day. (no pun intended.) so after looking around for a LONG time, i settled on a long-sleeve polo shirt and four pairs of underwear. and i spent $.85.
• also, on my night off, i had a $19 merchandise credit at neiman marcus. ***neiman marcus employee alert*** if you or anyone you know works at neiman marcus or shops there on a regular basis, please skip this bullet point. i wandered into neiman marcus to spend my hot little $19. people, i could not find a single thing for $19. i found a lovely diaper bag that, to be honest, was not that cute for a measly $575. pocket change. so i moved over to the clothes. i thought i would pick up a cute little tee. i saw this awesome little knit t-shirt dress for the goo that was a fun purple color. i'm fun. let's go with the fun knit dress. FOR NINETY-EIGHT DOLLARS! a 12-18 months KNIT t-shirt dress. for $98. so after looking at every item in the "kids section," it was down to a bear or some shoes. and since she already has a lovie (that smells something fierce, by the way), i decided she needed some new shoes.
• start praying. in a moment of temporary insanity, i decided to take both of my children on an airplane next weekend to visit my brother and sister-in-law and my two nieces and one nephew. i am going to a wedding, so originally i was going to fly out there, spend time with my friend but moreso get in some good "cool aunt janet" time. but then i decided that since big h and the goo haven't seen their cousins since, oh, THANKSGIVING OF 2006, it was time to make a trip. big h will be so excited. honestly, i haven't told him about it yet because literally he would ask about every 6 1/2 minutes if it was time to go ride jay jay the jet plane and see his cousins. but trust me, he will be on cloud nine. literally. goo may not like it quite as much. but we'll pray that all goes well for her. we'll bring some fruit and her smelly lovie, and we should be good to go. oh, and an advice question. my brother and sister-in-law don't read the blog so i can ask this. any thoughts on whether i should bring the kids something from texas? my nephew just turned five in june. my niece will turn four in december. and my other niece just turned one in may. was thinking of matching mavericks t-shirts or something. corny? thoughtful? suggestions?
• buz and i were talking about this the other day. we realized that i have never advertised for my sweet in-laws. so let me take a moment to do so. (trust me, she has no idea i'm doing this and may not be pleased. i'll let you know.) my mother-in-law is a hopeless romantic. loves to see people in love. loves to celebrate. i've never heard anyone more excited about the milestones in my childrens' lives or my own. she used to be a flight attendant. and let's just say that in a week and a half, i will be SO wishing she were still one. :) but it has always been her dream to run a bed and breakfast. they moved out to ruidoso, new mexico almost twenty years ago. they bought a cabin in the mountains. breathtaking. when buz and i started dating, he told me that they would be doing some renovating when we got up there. we were dating. i didn't care. i just wanted to hold hands a lot. he could not have prepared me for the quaint atmosphere of this place. she really has a heart for couples. she wants them to come and get recharged and fall in love all over again. i know...i sound like a hallmark card. and my father-in-law is the braun behind it all. he built the entire thing himself. anyway, i just wanted to let you know that if you are EVER in ruidoso, new mexico, looking for a place to rest and relax with your sweetie, call my in-laws. (and if you have a sappy enough love story, she may even discount a night for you. mention the blog.) so enjoy.
• i think i may have mentioned big h's new love for the art of photography. sometimes i laugh. however, sometimes i am quite amazed. of course, i'm his mama, so i'm a little biased, but he's quite abstract. in an artistic kind of way. i will say that he has not perfected the art of human portrait. he doesn't quite get your most flattering features. for example, he likes to shoot from the floor up. he also likes to get really close to your face. and when i say really close, i mean microscope of your nose hairs and your pupils. they are the kind you want to make enlargements from. really. here are a couple from his collection. and just so you know, i'm saving you from the one that he was most proud of. namely, his accomplishment in the restroom. yes, he photographed the toilet with his accomplishment in the bottom of the toilet. nice.

his wipes box. we're working on focusing.

ceiling fan. see how it's a little off-centered. talent. pure, raw talent.

and c'mon. don't you want to take a bite out of these toes?

• hate to be a downer, but all my talk about how hot it's been. i'm comparing it to when i was first induced with big h and the nurse asked me what my pain scale was on a scale from 1-10. (fyi: i don't mean to brag, but i have a pretty high pain tolerance. buz will agree.) i said, "oh about a 7 or so." she responded, "um, if you can talk through your contractions, trust me, you are NOT at a 7. maybe 1 or 2." she was thinking, "perspective, lady. perspective." so all my "oh poor me, it's so hot here." that was just "july me" talking. about this time every year, i seem to forget about "august me" and "september me." "august me" is pretty unbearable. "august me" LIVES at the mall. "august me" wishes she didn't have to put on a swimsuit, but it's pretty tough to get in the pool with your children without one. "august me" wishes the retail United States would start their seasons the same time we start ours. because what "august me" would give to have on a pair of khakis and this nice, little number. and on that note, i am going to go make sure my swimsuit, shorts, tank, and flip flops are ready for another two months. (BIG, HUGE, ENORMOUS SIGH)
• and finally. drum roll please. my daughter, none other the goo herself, TOOK TWO STEPS TODAY! and both buz and i got to see it. big h was too busy looking for his buzz lightyear costume to put on. because what would a 104-degree day be without your halloween costume that you didn't actually wear on halloween? next thing you know, i'm going to be taking goo shoe shopping. and there is nothing that will bring me more happiness. well, except for when i get to help her pick out her first handbag. excuse me, i've gotta run get some tissues. that will be a day for the books.


• speaking of the goo, i must share some pictures that display what a trooper (no pun intended, again) she is. she just such an easy kid. she does whatever big h wants her to do, and she plays along with the best attitude.

yes, that's big h's astronaut helmet.

astronaut helmet, can of chicken noodle soup, and nothing but a diaper. klass-ay.

and astronaut goo looking for something in the pantry. perhaps the deviled eggs tray? perhaps the lifetime supply of noodles from college.